


Hard to Be Where We Are

by saucyminx



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-28 05:24:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A schmoopy re-telling of Romeo and Juliet - J2 style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Fuck, it’s Ackles. Look,” Jeff hissed.

Jared jumped when his older brother’s elbow connected with his ribs. “What? Where?”

“Jesus, Jared. How many times have I told you to look _around_ you when you’re in this area of town.” Jeff pushed at the side of Jared’s head playfully but there was a stern edge in his voice. Jeff’s square jaw nodded toward a group of young men sitting on the steps of the local movie theatre.

“Jared’s too busy thinking about _Mackenzie_ ,” Chad teased.

Jared could feel his cheeks burning at the mention of Mackenzie’s name. Sighing, he glanced over at the men on the steps, squinting into the afternoon sunlight as he tried to make out their features.

“Well,” Jeff said, “you better get over _that_ crush quickly, Jay, ‘cause it’s going nowhere.” Jeff squared his shoulders and kept walking.

“Let’s just go ‘round the other way,” Jared offered softly. He never saw the point in deliberately stirring things up with Ackles and his friends; they were never going to see eye to eye on things so it just seemed so pointless.

Chad snorted softly and bumped his shoulder against Jared’s. “We have just as much right as anyone else to be walking along here, Jared. Right, Jeffy?”

Jeff swatted the long blonde hair away from Chad’s forehead. “Idiot. Call me that again and you’ll be limping home.”

Jared smirked and turned his gaze to his brother. “So? Can we just go the other way?”

“Don’t worry, Jare; I’ve got your back. And Blondie over here isn’t that bad a fighter if push comes to shove.” Jeff grinned and turned his eyes ahead to the other boys.

Jared didn’t like it. When Chad bounced at his side like he was eager to start something, Jared just shot him a _look_. Jeff had that effect on people. The oldest in the family, Jeff was a commanding presence; tall and broad-shouldered, sweet-tempered unless it came down to _honor_.

“Come on.” Jeff slung his arm over his little brother’s shoulders and pulled him toward the cinema. “Nothing wrong with walking past a closed movie theatre on a lazy Saturday night, is there?”

Sighing, Jared looked ahead again and was just able to make out the wide green eyes of Josh Ackles. Josh and Jeff had been friends once; Jared was sure he could remember Josh being over at their house years ago. Either way, it was over now. Jared wasn’t even sure what had happened but it involved the High School football teams’ rivalry. Jeff captained the Roughnecks and Josh the Drillers. Their friendship hadn’t outlasted their first season being on rival teams.

Chad circled around them like some sort of whacked-out satellite. “Hey, Jeff. You think Jared has got a chance with Mack?”

“With Josh’s _little_ sister?” Jeff laughed and shook his head as he turned to face his little brother. “Jared, what’s _wrong_ with you? All the chicks at the school and you gotta pick the one who’s an Ackles?”

“That’s what _I_ told him,” Chad said smugly. He groaned when Jeff punched him in the shoulder. Jared blinked a few times and shoved his hair out of his eyes.

“She’s nice, sweet, and she’s in one of my classes.” The heat was back on his cheeks again and he wasn’t sure who he hated more at that moment, his brother for being so straightforward or Chad for bringing it up again.

“She’s an _Ackles_ ,” Chad insisted, like it explained everything.

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Chad? Shut up. Jared? She’s an Ackles. She’s not the right girl for you.”

Jared wasn’t sure if he believed that - but then he wasn’t entirely sure he knew that he was even really interested in Mackenzie Ackles. Frankly, she was one of the only girls in his class who didn’t act like a complete moron or scare the shit out of him. Jared’s life seemed to be full of extremes like that.

Jeff’s arm slid off Jared’s shoulder and the mood changed abruptly as they walked past the other boys. Jared recognized Josh; Christian stood just behind him. Christian was on the Drillers team as well, a first string linebacker. Jared wasn’t all that interested in football but he just had to listen to Jeff going on about it so much it had sunk in. There was a third boy sitting on the top step, shaggy brown hair kind of tousled as he lifted his eyes. Michael -Mike- Jared was sure that was his name. He was slighter than the other two, and oddly enough, Jared had always thought he seemed nice.

“Josh.” Jeff’s voice was a low rumble. The _Padalecki Rumble_ , Jared’s father called it. Deep voices, Texan drawl when they were tired or angry. “What you doing out here in the sun? Thought that night crawlers like you would be sleeping under a rock at this time of day.”

Stiffening, Jared stepped in behind his brother slightly.

“Jeff,” he said softly.

Chad darted up the steps and crossed his arms, glaring at Christian as the boy turned to face him. “Hey, Chrissy. You look a little tired. Must be the ass-kicking we gave you last weekend.”

“Murray, I don’t recall you being anywhere close to the field, unless...” Christian paused, narrowing his eyes at Chad. “That was you on the cheerleading squad. Think I remember your tiny little skirt.”

“Padalecki, don’t you have some corner you should be hooking at? Or has Daddy finally found a real job?” Josh pushed off the step, hands curling at his sides like he was already preparing for a fight.

Jared’s fingers tugged at the back of Jeff’s shirt but his older brother just shook him off. Widening his stance slightly, Jared stepped forward.

“Hi Josh, Christian.” He nodded over at Michael.

“Don’t even _try_ to be nice to these idiots, Jared,” Chad sneered, but he was smart enough to wander back down the stairs to stand on the other side of Jeff.

“Ackles, don’t insult my family. They’ve done nothing to you - it’s kind of low, don’t you think? I mean, you don’t hear me talking trash about... _Mackenzie_ , do you?” Jeff’s top lip curled into a half-sneer and Jared groaned.

“Don’t you so much as _think_ about my sister, scumbag.” Josh took a step closer to Jeff, his nostrils flaring. “What the fuck are you doing on our side of town anyway?”

“Since when is this _your_ side of town? We’re just out for a walk. Checking out the scenery and enjoying the sun.” Jeff’s smile was cold.

“I know Mack. She’s in my biology class,” Jared said quietly. He sucked in a sharp breath a moment later when Chad reached around behind him and smacked his shoulder blade.

“What’s that, pipsqueak? Got something to share with the class?” Josh fixed his eyes on Jared, taking another step forward. “What’s the matter with you, Jared? You messed up in the head or something?”

Jeff’s arm snapped out in front of Jared. “You back the _fuck_ off, Ackles. Jared is off-limits.”

Frowning, Jared took a step back. The whole situation was going _exactly_ how he’d expected it to.

Jabbing his finger hard at Josh’s chest, Chad growled, “Don’t even _talk_ about Jared. He’s ten times the man you’ll ever be.”

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me, fag,” Josh snapped, and shoved Chad hard, causing him to stumble off the curb. “You’re here in our faces; no one is off limits.”

Jeff swung first, fast and hard; his fist connected solidly with Josh’s jaw and the other boy went reeling backwards. Everything kind of went into quick-motion. Jared leap out of the way as Chad launched himself behind Jeff and slammed hard into Christian, and Jared could only watch as they landed hard on the concrete steps. Whirling rather suddenly, Jeff slammed a hand hard into Jared’s chest, sending him stumbling back out of the way of the blows.

Christian had a hand dug hard into Chad’s hair, keeping the blonde at bay as he swept his leg forward and knocked him to the ground. The sound of sirens came from down the street just as Jeff’s fist slammed hard into Josh’s nose, causing the boy to call out in pain.

The cop car skidded to a stop at the curb, the door flying open as a tall officer with broad shoulders ran around the front bumper and shoved Jeff and Josh apart. “What the hell are you two doing? Does this really look like the place for a lovers’ quarrel?”

Jared moved forward quickly, grabbing his brother’s arm and pulling him back. Even as he was moving backward, he cast his gaze around quickly, trying to see if Chad was okay. He could see the boy sprawled on the steps but he was already rolling up to his feet. They’d run into Officer Morgan on more than one occasion and it nearly always ended up with a phone call to their father.

“I am not surprised to see it’s you lot being this stupid.” Officer Morgan frowned, casting his gaze toward Josh. “Go get yourself cleaned up, kid. Go on.” He jerked his head toward Josh then looked back over at Jared and Jeff. “I hope you two didn’t start this.”

Ducking his head down, Jared tugged harder on Jeff’s arm but his older brother was like an immovable force. “Jeff, we should go. We’re sorry, Mr.- Officer Morgan.”

As usual, it was Jeff who had thrown the first punch - he had the kind of temper than got him in trouble all the time. Their father would strangle them both if Morgan had to make another phone call to the house.

“Chad!” Jared widened his eyes at the blonde until he started moving a little faster. “We’re sorry. I was just-” Jared looked pleadingly at Jeff.

“Morgan, don’t worry ‘bout it.” Jeff stood his ground, head tilted cockily. Limping down the steps, Chad grinned and nodded at Jeff.

“Kicked their asses again,” he murmured.

“Chad, shut up,” Jared hissed.

“Look, boys, I don’t want to keep doin’ this. You get the hell out of here and stay out of trouble and I’ll let it slide. But if I see you fighting Ackles and his friends again, it’s gonna be more than a phone call, you get it?” Officer Morgan narrowed his eyes at Jared as if he knew Jared was the only one who would really believe him.

“Yes, sir.” Jared sighed with relief when Jeff finally let himself be pulled away from the bottom of the steps. “Jesus, Jeff - you’re a fucking idiot.”

Laughter burst out of Jeff as he fell into step beside his brother. “Don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before, Jare.”

There was nothing funny about what was going on. Jared’s hands were shaking and he stalked ahead of Jeff and Chad as they chatted like they’d been out for beer with friends instead of getting themselves in trouble yet again. “How’m I supposed to ever get to know Mackenzie if you two _idiots_ do stuff like that?’

“Aw, Jare, don’t worry ‘bout it. She’s really not all that great.” Chad was still brushing dirt off his shirt so he didn’t even notice Jared had stopped walking until he walked straight into his friend’s back.

Stumbling a step, Jared spun on Chad and Jeff. “It’s easy for you two, you have girlfriends. I’m not… I’m not like you two and Mack has always been really nice to me. This is just - she’s like my… chance-”

“Whoa, hey, Jare.” Jeff’s expression finally softened and he reached out to tousle Jared’s hair. “C’mon, man, it’s not that bad. Right, Chad?”

“What?” Chad rubbed at a bruise that was already blooming on his jaw. “Yeah, it’s not bad. Just crash their party later.” Shrugging, he winced as he poked at his lip.

“Party?” Jared perked up slightly, staring over at Chad.

“Yeah, every year the Ackles’ have a Hallow-”

“Shut up, Chad. We’re _not_ going to the Ackles’ place. That would just be a deathwish.” Jeff started walking again, huffing out a frustrated breath.

“No, wait a minute.” Chad’s face lit up and he wrapped his arm around Jared’s shoulders and squeezed him. “This is a _great_ idea. Their party is always a costume party and there will be, like, so many people there no one would know it was us. You could find Mack and talk to her.” Chad looked completely pleased with himself.

Jeff was already shaking his head. “No. That’s just- that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“No, it’s not,” Jared contrdicted quietly. It made perfect sense to him. He could wear some kind of costume and then he probably wouldn’t even be as nervous as he usually was around people. It couldn’t be _that_ hard to find Mack at the party. “I want to.”

Jeff shoved at Chad’s shoulder. “This is _your_ fault, moron.”

“Stop it, Jeff!” Everyone stopped, surprised by Jared raising his voice to his older brother. “Why do you have to be so aggressive about everything? Just stop it. Stop. It.” Panting, Jared flung his hands out to the sides and shook his head. “It’s enough, all this fighting and crap. I mean, they’re calling _me_ names and I don’t even know what happened between you and Josh.”

Chad shuffled his feet nervously and finally dropped his gaze as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“You really like this Mack, huh?” Jeff sighed, his shoulders sagging slightly.

“Well…” Jared glanced up and looked away quickly. “I don’t even know because everyone’s so busy fighting, I’m too scared to even talk to her.”

A strange expression flitted across Jeff’s face and he turned to Chad quickly. “Okay then. We’ll do it. We’re brothers, right? You want to meet this girl. We’ll go to their stupid party. How hard can it be to come up with costumes?”

Jared wasn’t sure whether he was actually _happy_ that Jeff was going along with Chad’s idea. Stomach twisting painfully, Jared smiled crookedly and started walking again. Sure. How hard could it all be?

The smooth ivory of the keys moved beneath Jensen’s fingers and he closed his eyes, rocking forward in time with the soothing melody. He wasn’t even playing a song he knew, just letting his fingers take him through familiar notes. It was the only thing to soothe his nerves about the upcoming evening.

Why his family insisted on throwing a Halloween party each year was beyond him. Jensen thought his mother enjoyed the time to dress in costume, not in her usual business clothing, and he knew she also enjoyed inspiring the mind. Jensen simply never enjoyed the press of dozens of people; he would much rather have a quiet conversation with a friend or two, maybe listening to some music or watching a film that actually required the use of his brain.

The door to his room burst open and Jensen abruptly stopped playing, eyes snapping open as he turned to look at his brother. Jensen was nothing like Josh, especially considering his brother was currently cupping his nose, and Jensen could see blood on his fingers.

Frowning, Jensen stood and walked toward him. “What did you do?”

“Ffinn Pad-” Josh grumbled into his hand, brushing past Jensen to head for his private bathroom.

Sighing softly, Jensen turned and followed his brother, leaning against the doorframe and watching him wash the blood from his fingers.

“Is there a reason you’re using my bathroom?” he asked softly, reaching up to push at the rim of the glasses over his nose.

“Mom.” Josh spat blood into the sink, bending down to splash water on his face.

It wasn’t the first time Josh had come to hide in his room after getting into some fight with whoever he was currently having issues with. There was quite a long list of people Josh was not getting along with; Jensen couldn’t keep up. So he simply grabbed a rag from the drawer and reached out to wet it under the faucet, stepping toward his brother. “Let me see.”

Josh scowled but moved his hand away, turning so Jensen could step forward and pat at the blood. “M’gonna fuckin’ _kill_ Jeff.”

“Jeff?” Jensen frowned at the already swollen bridge of Josh’s nose, shaking his head. “As in Jeff Padalecki? Why were you with him?”

“I wasn’t _with_ him. The fucker came out of nowhere and totally jumped me!” Josh protested, wincing when Jensen applied pressure to his nose. “I swear, next time I’m gonna aim a kick right where-”

“Josh! What happened?” The surprised gasp of their mother had both boys freezing, Jensen turning to slowly look at her. She sighed as she walked into the bathroom, her heels clicking on the tile. “Where you fighting again? How many times do we have to do this, Josh?”

“I didn’t start it?” Josh tried smiling innocently but the grimace in response didn’t help his case.

Their mom sighed again and took the rag from Jensen, grasping Josh’s arm with her free hand. “Come on; I need better light. You just better hope this doesn’t lead to a hospital visit or you can plan on paying for the medical bill.”

“But, Mom, seriously, it wasn’t my fault...”

The voices trailed off as they disappeared from his room and Jensen laughed softly, shaking his head. It wasn’t so bad not being like Josh, even if his brother was popular at school, star of the football team, the kind of person everyone wanted to spend time with. Jensen hadn’t been raised as the son passionate about sports.

Instead, he harbored a deep love for music, movies, anything that inspired his mind. He could play a wide assortment of instruments, and sometimes he tried his hand at drawing and painting. Mostly, though, more than anything, he loved to read. Jensen had a whole wide wall devoted to his books and he never got enough of them.

Now, as he waited for the Halloween party that was required attendance on his end but not anything he was looking forward to, Jensen decided to waste hours lost in fiction. He grabbed Douglas Adams’ ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide’ book from the shelf built into his wall, positive that comedy would keep his mood positive about the evening to come.

As he crossed to his balcony, his eyes drifted to the prince costume lying on the bed. Jensen had to admit that he was looking forward to wearing that costume, if only because he could play make-believe in his head. Sure, he was sixteen years old and that was too old for those sorts of games, but sometimes Jensen found it easier to live in those places. Especially since the older he got, the more he realized how very _unlike_ his family he was.

Curling up on the chaise lounge on his balcony, Jensen flipped the book open and settled in to read. He only hoped the afternoon didn’t go too quickly, because the night was going to be more draining than anyone could know.

Jared’s costume idea came to him as soon as he walked into his bedroom at home. As he’d walked past his bookshelf, his eyes had settled on ‘Lord Of The Rings’. _Aragorn_.

It was fitting. He would go as the fearless ranger and find Mackenzie and everything would work out _just_ fine.

Before they’d even arrived home, Jeff had assured Jared and Chad that they just needed to text him with their costume ideas and he would bust into the drama department’s costume storage at the school and get them exactly what they needed. Jared wasn’t keen on the idea of his brother having another potential run-in with Officer Morgan but he didn’t have another alternative for a costume.

Text sent, Jared went to Megan’s bedroom and slipped inside when he realized she was out. If she caught him in her room, he’d never hear the end of it. But there was something in her room he needed for his costume.

Snatching his prize off Megan’s dresser, Jared hurried back to his own room. Looking down, he opened his clenched fingers to reveal an almost art deco silver pendent. Arwin’s eternal life pendent. After all, even though he would never actually admit it aloud, the reason Aragorn was his favorite character was because of his undying love for the Elvin woman.

Smiling, Jared set the pendent down on his dresser and tried not to panic.

Jeff arrived home with hardly any time to spare.

Jared pounced on his brother when he opened the front door. “What took you so long?”

Rolling his eyes, Jeff gestured over his shoulder and Chad appeared on cue. “Barbie here had to find _just_ the right costume.”

Whipping a mask out from under the pile of clothes in his arms, Chad held it up to his face. From behind the shiny, black vinyl mask, Chad said darkly, “I’m Batman.”

“Oh, _God_ ,” Jared murmured. Stifling a laugh, he started to tug and pull on the pile of costumes.

Swatting at his brother’s hand, Jeff grinned. “Back off, Romeo. I’ve got the perfect costume for you to woo Mackenzie. I have _read_ ‘Lord Of The Rings’, you know.”

Setting down the pile of clothing and accessories, Jeff slid a stack off the top and handed it to Jared.

“Chad has your sword and chain mail,” he said.

“Batman,” Chad corrected, as he held out the sword.

“I’m not calling you Batman all night.” Jeff laughed and pulled out a long cape and a rather evil-looking hook that would fit over his entire hand. “Hookman,” he explained with a rather smug grin on his face.

It took them about an hour to get into their costumes. They were slower toward the end because Chad kept running around the house with his cape open and knocking things down. Jared spent at least twenty minutes cleaning up and another ten agonizing over how to wear the sword belt.

Jared’s mask was simple, dark brown leather that just fit over his eyes, Chad’s was complete with black bat ears, and Jeff’s covered his entire face and was entirely too creepy for Jared’s liking. The good thing was that the masks would easily hide their identities and they would _never_ be recognized at the Ackles’ party. Jared was quite certain that Mackenzie wouldn’t be a problem; maybe he could even keep his identity hidden until he was sure that she liked him. He had a lot of plans; he always did - he just wasn’t sure how many of them he would follow through on.

By the time the three boys were headed out to the party, the moon was full in the sky and Jared was a nervous wreck.

Standing in front of the mirror, Jensen couldn’t help but note the little inaccuracies of his costume. It came from reading so much, he supposed, knowing just how the outfit of a Prince should be and what they clearly couldn’t create in a costume store, no matter how much money was spent. There was a scabbard and a dull version of a real sword resting on the bed but Jensen wasn’t sure he would wear it, because in his home a Prince never would have worn his sword, Jensen was almost certain.

“Oh, Jensen. You look stunning,” his mother said, as she swept into the room, her billowing dress fluttering around at her sides.

Jensen thought she was going as a queen but really it could have been any medieval figure, she was just interested in the big dress and that she looked beautiful. Jensen smiled at her and shook his head. “This isn’t right, you know.”

“I’m sure you could pick out a million things wrong with it, dear, but you still look great in it. Now let me help you with your hair.” Her hands lifted toward him but Jensen stepped back.

“Mom, please, I want to wear it like this. I hate all that gel in it.” Jensen ran a hand back through his hair, noting how the bangs were just long enough now to brush over his brow. “Everyone else ready?”

“Yeah, Mackenzie insisted on the belly dancer costume; your dad is going to lose it.” She laughed and shook her head, brushing something invisible off Jensen’s collar. “So, any special girl you’re looking for tonight?”

Jensen’s heart sank at the question and he looked away, knowing his mom would know something was up if he met her gaze. “No, not really. Pretty much everyone is coming; I’m sure I’ll see plenty of people.”

“How come you’re not dating someone, Jensen? You’re so handsome, and so smart. After the musical, I thought you’d have girls lined up around the block.” His mom sighed as if Jensen having a girlfriend would somehow affect their social standing.

In truth, there had been girls lined up for him since they realized that boys didn’t really have cooties. It didn’t make him any more interested in dating or, well, in girls. No, Jensen’s romantic interests certainly wouldn’t please his mother. Part of Jensen was tempted to come out to his parents almost out of spite; maybe then they would stop expecting perfection out of him.

“I’m just not looking right now; no big deal.” Jensen shrugged and turned to head across the room. On second thought, maybe he would wear the sword. This was going to be the most boring night ever.

“Well, promise to come find me some time down there; I have a few friends with daughters your age and you could ask them to dance.” With that, she swept out of the room with the same flourish, the jewelry around her wrists clinking together with each step.

Jensen thought about the stash of gay romance novels he had under his bed and sighed, shaking his head slowly. His family would never love him if he came out; he wouldn’t be the golden child, the musical prodigy, and maybe part of Jensen wanted that. Maybe it would just be better.

Jared tried to turn around and go back home four times on the way to the party. Each time, Jeff and Chad had grabbed his arms and dragged him forward. The party was in full swing by the time they arrived at the Ackles’ house. There were cars parked up and down the street, the front gates to their property were open and there was quite a gathering of people in costumes wandering on the front lawn.

“Now, keep the masks _on_ and stay out of trouble,” Jeff muttered. He shoved Jared up the stairs to the open front door.

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause _I’m_ the one who usually causes trouble,” Jared shot back.

Chad ran straight into Jared’s back and laughed. “I can’t see right out of my mask.”

“Some fuckin’ bat you are,” Jeff snorted, and adjusted his hook so he could wave it menacingly at a couple of girls who were passing.

“Okay, quit it, you two. I’m nervous enough already.” Jared fiddled with his sword and looked around. “What do I do now?”

“Mingle, little brother, _mingle_.” Jeff shoved Jared’s shoulder so he had no choice but to move forward into the noisy crowd. As he was being absorbed into a mass of dancing people, he saw Chad’s black cape billow out as he darted across the room. Smiling, Jared turned back into the crowd and wandering through.

The music was pounding in the main room, making his chest thump with each bass sound. He didn’t recognize any of the girls - really, the only way he would be able to recognize Mackenzie was by her hair. He’d overheard her telling a friend in class that she wanted to go as a belly dancer but wasn’t sure her father would let her.

Sighing, Jared pushed his way through the crowd, lingering by the entrance to the backyard. Parties were kind of a nightmare; they involved most of the things that Jared wasn’t terribly good at. Never one to just start up a conversation, Jared more often than not found himself on the sidelines of social events. And a party at the Ackles’ house involved a lot of people that probably would rather kick his ass than look at him if they knew who he really was.

He convinced himself that slipping outside for a little fresh air wasn’t exactly _giving up_ \- it was, in fact, just taking a break. Slipping unnoticed through the door, he took a deep breath, relieved that it was at least a little cooler. Adjusting his sword and shifting the chain mail, Jared wandered down a small stone path.

There was no one in the garden, which wasn’t all that surprising. Most of the guys his age seemed to be either dancing or hanging out on the front lawn. Obviously, nearly everyone there _knew_ everyone else, with the exception of Chad and his brother.

Glancing up at the full moon, Jared ducked down another path and caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye. Slipping in behind a large bank of bushes, he peered around it and smiled.

There was a young man, maybe about the same age as him. He was dressed as a king - or maybe a prince. Clad from head to toe in dark blue, the boy’s long cape billowed out as he held out his long sword and darted around, fighting... invisible enemies. Smile spreading to a grin, Jared leaned a little further out as the boy whipped around and lunged forward with his hand held up behind him. His hair was tousled, framing his face and almost matching the color of the freckles that were peppered across his cheeks.

Jared’s grin tilted crookedly as the boy whirled again and stabbed toward his invisible opponent, and that was when Jared’s world kind of tilted a little. The boy’s eyes were stunning. They were the most gorgeous, translucent green, but even more than that, they were happy and sparkling - almost as though he was in his own little world out there in the garden.

Stepping out half a step, Jared reached up and adjusted his mask carefully then drew his sword. “Do you require assistance, my Liege?”

The voice startled Jensen and he stepped back quickly, the sword dropping to his side. He could feel the rush of heats to his cheeks as he stared at the boy across from him. He was taller than Jensen; thick brown hair brushed back and held down by the straps of his mask. He was clad in a dark tunic with chain mail sleeves, and Jensen would have recognized the outfit even without seeing the pendant around his neck. “I didn’t know anyone else was out here.”

“I didn’t mean to intrude; I just...” Jared waved his sword toward the house behind him. The sound of the music was drifting toward them. “Kinda crowded in there.” Smiling, he slid his sword back into its scabbard and took a few tentative steps closer. The boy’s cheeks were rosy now; he was blushing, and Jared thought it was kind of, well, adorable.

Smiling softly, Jensen echoed the boy’s actions and tucked his sword away, looking over at his house and nodding.

“Yeah, there’s not much breathing room in there, let alone room to tackle imaginary foe.” Jensen chuckled softly and wet his lips, his heart fluttering in his chest at the boy’s answering laugh. “I like your costume. Aragorn, it’s a good choice. And by not being Legolas, you spared yourself the tights.” Jensen flushed once more, absolutely certain that he was talking too much.

“Yeah, legs - not my best feature.” Jared could feel his own skin start to heat a little under the other boy’s gaze. “You a king or a prince? You’ve got a Prince Charming kind of thing... I mean-” Jared’s eyes widened and he dropped his gaze. He wasn’t accustomed to being quite that flustered around other boys.

Jensen laughed, a heady rush pulsing through him. Where they flirting with each other? Jensen didn’t have a lot of experience flirting with anyone. But if it meant getting that smile out of the taller boy, then he could get used to it.

“I must be Prince Charming then. The daring and dashing Prince Jensen, defying the moral standards set by my father in the search for true love.” To punctuate his words, Jensen pulled his sword free once more, holding it above his head and striking a knightly pose.

Jared laughed and stepped forward to kneel on one knee in front of _Jensen_.

“Then, kind Sir, this lowly Ranger is at your service.” Blinking up at Jensen, he wrinkled his nose as he grinned.

Swallowing thickly, Jensen lowered his sword and stared down at the boy, curious smile on his lips. “I accept your service, Ranger, now go, and fetch me a punch.” He grinned then shook his head, holding out a hand to help the boy up. “As long as you promise not to run off and marry some Elf, then steal my throne or something.”

Sliding his palm across Jensen’s, Jared let himself be pulled up. Stumbling slightly when his sword caught on the ground, Jared pitched forward and collided with Jensen. One hand still in Jensen’s, the other curled over his shoulder to catch himself, Jared felt his stomach fluttering nervously as heat flooded through his body. The boy’s eyes were even more beautiful up close and Jared couldn’t help staring.

“Rangers only steal hearts, not kingdoms,” he murmured.

It felt painful to pull in a breath, but in the absolute best way, and Jensen wondered idly if he was still daydreaming and he’d somehow created this boy.

“Does the Ranger have a name or should I just call you Strider?” His lips twitched in a nervous smile and he squeezed the other boy’s hand under his own, his desire to push harder forward making him nearly dizzy.

“I’m Jared. It’s nice to meet you, Jensen.” Jared let out a small puff of air when he realized that he didn’t want to step out of their closeness. Sliding his hand up along the satiny material of Jensen’s cape, Jared finally lifted a finger to touch the boy’s cheek. “I like your freckles, a lot.”

Jared’s mind was spinning. He’d certainly never felt like _this_ around any of the girls he knew at school. He may have wondered - somewhere - in the back of his mind if he liked guys but this was something he just wasn’t prepared for. It was like being dizzy from spinning in a circle, being out of breath from running or tingling all over like a shock - only _all_ at once.

“Oh,” Jensen whispered, more of an exhale than anything else. He felt like everything outside the hazel of Jared’s eyes visible through the mask was blurring, like everything had narrowed down to this one moment. “Where did you come from?” he asked, because it seemed unreal, like Jared was the very thing he’d dreamed up. He learned just barely into Jared’s touch, eyes fluttering closed for just a moment.

“Other side of the kingdom.” Jared slid his fingers through Jensen’s, twining them together. “Came to find... someone.” Already, there was the strangest feeling inside Jared’s chest; it was an itching tingle, like maybe he’d already found his _someone_. “Do you really want me to get you some punch?” Turning his hand slightly, he brushed the backs of his fingers over the other boy’s cheek.

“Not if it means you leaving.” Jensen pressed against Jared’s chest, wondering if the taller boy could feel how quick his breath was rushing through his lungs. “So did you find who you were looking for?” His free hand lifted to trace over the chain mail on Jared’s arm, impressed by how real it felt.

Blinking, Jared bit down on his bottom lip for a few moments.

“Not who I was looking for - but maybe... who I was meant to find.” It was lame, he knew it, and if Chad heard him, Jared would never hear the end of it. But. _Jensen_. Suddenly, that name just fluttering through Jared’s mind could make his heart beat a little faster.

A surprised laugh fell from Jensen’s lips and he stared up at Jared, his heart skipping a beat.

“I’m pretty sure I just imagined you into existence,” Jensen whispered, swaying up toward Jared then falling back. He was all too aware of where they were, as much as he wanted to imagine they were safely in their own world here. His parents would flip if they saw him pressed up against Jared like this.

“I’m absolutely real,” Jared whispered. Lifting his gaze quickly, he scanned the garden around them, and then leaned forward slightly until his nose just brushed the long strands of dark blonde hair. “You smell good.”

Eyes fluttering closed, Jensen once more swayed toward Jared, his body nearly tingling. “You too,” he muttered, then laughed, embarrassed that he couldn’t come back with something more classy. “Where’s the other side of the kingdom?”

“Far, far away,” Jared smiled. Stepping back slightly, he lifted Jensen’s hand to his lips and pressed them to the back of the shorter boy’s hand. His skin was soft and smooth, warm, and Jared gazed down at Jensen.

Everything in Jensen sparked and he bit his lip to keep from making any embarrassing noises. Seriously, there was no way Jared could be a real teenager like him. Well, like all the boys in his school, Jensen had thought die-hard romantics like him were make-believe. “Next you’re gonna tell me you have some epic quest involving a ring or something.”

Laughing softly, Jared squeezed Jensen’s hand and lowered it again. “No epic quests, just me... just Jared.” He shrugged and tried to take a few deep breaths and settle himself down a little. Off in the distance, Jared thought he heard his name and frowned. “I’m here... with, well, my friends. I think they might be looking for me.”

“Oh,” Jensen murmured, nodding slowly and looking over at the door. He could see a few people passing by but he wasn’t sure he recognized them. How had he missed Jared at school? “Will I see you again?”

“Can I find you later? I mean, I just- I gotta-” Jared heard his brother bellow again and walked backwards a few steps until his fingers finally pulled away from Jensen’s. “Are you staying here for a while?”

Laughing softly, Jensen nodded and reluctantly dropped his hand. He already missed the feel of Jared’s hand in his own.

“Yeah, I think I’ll definitely be staying here for a while.” He wanted to snatch Jared’s hand again and pull him close, maybe press their lips together, or maybe just ask Jared every detail about himself.

“Okay.” Jared grinned and turned, then turned back quickly. “I’ll find you. I mean, before the night is over. For sure.” Turning again, he laughed at himself, waved over his shoulder and headed around the bush to retrace his steps. Jeff bellowed again, closer - possibly even out near the back door.

Lifting his head, Jared stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Michael standing halfway down the path.

“That’s pretty stupid, you know, Jared,” Michael called out, and slowly crossed to Jared, eyes sliding toward the place Jared had come from.

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jared shifted nervously, peering over Michael’s shoulder to see if he could glimpse his brother or Chad.

“Relax, I’m not going to tell anyone you’re party-crashing.” Michael scratched along his arm for a moment before crossing to Jared, dropping his voice to a quiet murmur. “Don’t you know who that is? Jensen? As in, Jensen Ackles.”

“W-what?” Jared felt his eyes widen, and his pulse suddenly felt a little thready. Glancing unconsciously back in Jensen’s direction-- Jensen _Ackles_. It made sense in the part of Jared’s brain that was actually rational. The prince? Josh’s younger brother. Shaking his head, Jared turned back to Michael. “No... c’mon, that’s not funny.”

“I’m not kidding. Jensen Ackles, Josh’s baby brother, pride of the Ackles family. You need to just… leave him alone, okay? You and your brother and Chad, just get out of here and I won’t say anything, but don’t even go down that road with Jensen. None of his family even knows he likes guys; add to that you being a Padalecki -- it’s just not gonna happen.” Michael pushed at Jared’s arm as if that could get him to leave right that minute.

Taking a step back, Jared felt his heart crashing down off the high it had been riding. “I- Are you and he...” He couldn’t even actually get the words out. Jealous was something Jared had never really even experienced before.

“Are we...?” Michael frowned for a moment until realization dawned on him and he laughed, shaking his head. “No, no way. Even _I’m_ not stupid enough to mess around with Josh’s little brother. You think he wouldn’t kick my ass just because I’m his friend? Jensen is just… off limits. Come on; he’s nice, I know, but he’s not worth the crap you’d be put through.”

“I just-” Jared heard his brother call his name again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess anything up.” Walking backwards, Jared kept his eyes on Michael. “And thanks, for not, you know.”

“Yeah, just get out of here.” Michael shrugged again and stepped back, turning away from Jared.

Jared turned and ran in the direction of his brother’s voice.

There was a smile on Jensen’s lips that he couldn’t erase and he’d never felt this before, the pleasant twisting in his gut, the race of his heart, like he was walking on clouds. Sure, he was familiar with the brief rush, the feeling he got in his stories when the characters met and fell in love, but it always faded away. Jensen was ready to ride this high for the rest of the night until Jared found him once more.

Not even Mike’s call could make him worry, though he knew the boy probably brought news from his mom that he didn’t want. “Whatever it is, Mike, I don’t really care; I’m just going to stay out here and enjoy this beautiful night.”

“I think you’re about to care,” Mike muttered, and grabbed Jensen’s arm to keep him from walking off. “Hey, whoa, calm down a second, Jensen, before you spontaneously combust into rainbows or something.”

Jensen frowned and shook Mike’s hand off, staring hard at him. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“It’s about Jared, Jensen; you need to know something.” Mike sighed and stepped back, folding his arms over his chest. “You probably shouldn’t get too invested in him.”

Jensen’s eyes widened, something cold curling in his chest. “Come on, Mike, you said you’d keep it secret. It’s totally not fair to start making threats about telling Josh just because I like a guy.”

“Dude, I’m not a fucking jackass, Jesus.” Mike scowled at him for a moment before shaking his head. “Jared is Jared _Padalecki_ , little brother of Jeff Padalecki, which is why, I... Jen? Are you alright? You look sick.”

Jensen felt sick, like the clouds he’d been dancing on suddenly vanished and he was now plummeting to the ground. Because it was one thing to be gay; maybe his parents would get over it and learn to love him, but to be gay and dating the brother of the one person Josh hated more than anyone? Even to the point where the entire family was off limits? There was no hope at all for that.

In truth, part of Jensen felt like pursuing Jared simply for the rebellious prospect, but Jared would never be interested in him now, not once he knew.

“I don’t suppose you told him,” Jensen asked quietly, frowning as he crossed to a bench and slowly sat.

“I’m sorry, Jensen; I was just looking out for you and him. I told him to go home before Josh found out he was here.” Mike crossed to Jensen’s side and squeezed his shoulder. “Sorry, kid; life’s shit sometimes. Don’t give up; you’ll find someone someday.”

“Thanks.” Jensen forced a brief smile for Mike’s sake then looked away, closing his eyes against the burn of tears there. It wasn’t fair to feel so elated in one moment then feel it all crash down around him in the next. Jensen didn’t particularly want anyone else; he wanted Jared, and now he’d never get to find out if their skin would spark everywhere it touched and if they had as much in common as Jensen knew they would.

Jensen had never really hated his brother’s tendency to isolate and scorn people before, but in that moment, he wanted to yell at the boy for being such an asshole. Pushing up to his feet, Jensen looked over at Mike and shrugged, trying not to look as sad as he felt. “If anyone asks, can you just say I’m in my room and that I don’t feel well?”

“Sure,” Mike nodded, smiling sympathetically at Jensen as he turned to walk away.

Jeff _was_ looking for Jared. Jeff was actually worried at first; when he realized that Jared was alright, his mood darkened. “Jared, you idiot; I was worried. Where the _fuck_ were you?”

“Out back, getting some air,” Jared said quietly. He felt all _heavy_ and _wrong_ , like he’d been on a roller coaster ride that had just plummeted down to the bottom of the longest loop.

Chad bounced through the crowd and slung his arm over Jared’s shoulders. “Hey, man. We were lookin’ all over- you okay, Jare?”

Rubbing his thumb across his bottom lip, Jared nodded. If _Chad_ noticed there was something off about him then it had to be bad. Trying to smile and failing miserably, Jared looked down at Chad’s eyes.

“I just got a headache. It’s noisy and... you look ridiculous in that get-up.” His smile was more genuine when Chad smacked him on the chest.

“You find Mack?” Jeff had lowered his voice, leaning in closer.

Heat flooded Jared’s neck and cheeks and he looked down again, fiddling nervously with his mask. “No, I- think it’s… it’s a dumb idea.” Shaking off Chad’s arm, he moved a step ahead of them. “We should get out of here, before someone figures out who we are.”

Without waiting for an answer, Jared turned and started to weave his way back through the crowd. People were bumping into him and he shoved back at them with his shoulders, frustrated. His mind kept moving back to the shining green eyes and Jensen’s gentle voice. Everything was _so_ unfair. It was never Jared who’d had a problem with the Ackles’. It wasn’t Jared who had run-ins with Officer Morgan all the time. Jeff was a great brother - but Jared was _nothing_ like him.

Finally making it to the front door, Jared jogged down the steps and headed out onto the street. The fresh air only reminded him of the sweet scent of the garden and the smell of Jensen’s hair, and as soon as he was far enough away from the house to be seen, he tugged his mask off and rubbed at his eyes.

“Jesus, Jare. Where’s the fire?” Chad was panting as he finally ran up.

“Just had to get out of there. I can’t even... what was I even thinking, Chad?” Jared threw his arms out. He could see Jeff off in the distance, probably still pissed at Jared so he was taking his time.

“What? You mean Mackenzie?” Chad shoved his mask up onto the top of his head and scratched furiously at his nose and cheeks.

Hesitating for just a moment, Jared glanced over back down the street at Jeff.

“Chad, it’s too complicated. I mean, all this bad blood between their family and ours and for what? A stupid rivalry that went bad? It’s crazy. Broken noses, arms, fights, black eyes and fighting, and what has it got them? What has it got all of us but an entire set of people that we can’t even talk to?” Blowing out a frustrated breath, Jared closed his eyes to fight off the flash of green eyes and freckles.

“Whoa, Jare. Chill, man. I thought you said that Mackenzie wasn’t like them? You figured she was pretty shy and stuff.” Chad pulled the mask off his head slowly and picked at the edge of it.

“Yeah, I know. It was just- it was stupid.” Dropping his gaze to his feet, Jared smiled sadly. “I don’t even _know_ her.” _Or_ Jensen. Groaning, Jared stuffed the mask in his back pocket and ran his hands through his hair.

“You could go back. Without us, I mean.” Chad glanced over at Jeff as though somehow he had sensed that there was something Jared was hiding.

“What? And get my ass kicked-”

“No- go and find her. Talk to her. The party will be winding down, you know that. Sneak in and find her. Might as well take a chance, right?” Chad raised his eyebrows with a slight smirk on his face.

“Yeah?” Jared worried his bottom lip with his teeth. “No.” He shook his head. “No way - it won’t work. Hell, I’d never find him- her, find _her_.” His cheeks heated up instantly

Cocking his head slightly, Chad’s smile softened, and for an instant, Jared wondered if he’d been found out, then Chad was shoving at his shoulder.

“Go on, Jared. I’ll head Jeff off at the pass. You look like a love-sick puppy dog - and I hate it when your eyes are all sad and droopy.” Chad winked. “Git.”

Taking a deep breath, Jared smiled at his friend then turned and ran down one of the side streets.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Jared got back to the Ackles’, the party was winding down but there were still some people around. Tugging his mask out of his pocket, Jared slipped it on and ducked back into the yard. The Ackles’ yard was huge, thick hedges ringed the property, and Jared stuck close to them as he sneaked around to the back of the house. There were only two bedrooms on the far side of the house, one with a small balcony and another with bright pink curtains. Smiling, Jared decided that Jensen didn’t seem like the type to have pink curtains, so he settled down on the grass near the back wall to watch and wait as the remaining guests left the party.

As much as Jensen tried to make a quick getaway, it didn’t work. His mom had cornered him and he’d been forced to speak to at least three girls that were eyeing him like he was a sales special at Macy’s or wherever they shopped. Thankfully, Mike had come inside not that long after and had stolen him away, insisting it was important and blowing kisses to the girls.

He guided Jensen through the house and straight into his room, shutting the door behind him. Jensen instantly broke away from Mike, crossing the room and pulling the scabbard from around his waist.

“You don’t have to babysit me,” he said over his shoulder, crossing the room and tugging open the doors to his balcony. He needed fresh air, and maybe some of the alcohol his brother kept stashed in his room.

“Not babysitting, just making sure you’re okay,” Mike replied softly, and Jensen felt bad for snapping at him.

“Sorry.” Jensen sighed the word and turned to look at Mike, lifting his shoulder in a shrug. “Just… we really hit it off, you know? It was-- god, it was straight out of a book, the connection between us. I didn’t even know who he was and I was willing to do any single thing he asked of me. And then you tell me... god, it’s stupid.”

“Crushes can happen like that; it’s not unusual,” Mike insisted, crossing to him and patting his back. “You’ll get over it. You’re just not used to having guys around you can crush on.”

“It wasn’t like that. It was... I don’t know, I can’t explain it. Why do you and my brother have to be like this? Why can’t you just look past a stupid last name and let me have something that might be amazing?” Jensen stepped away from Mike and shook his head. “Just go away; I’m not in the mood.”

“Alright, well, text me, you know, if you want to talk later or something.” Mike shrugged and looked uncertainly at Jensen for a moment before turning and heading out of the room.

Jensen felt horrible enough that he was tempted to curl under the blankets and read one of the trashy gay novels he had. Until then - which he couldn’t safely do until his parents went to bed - Jensen was soaking in lungfuls of fresh air because he’d never felt more like a prisoner.

As soon as Jared had heard voices inside the room, two male voices, he had tugged his mask off and crept closer to the house. There was a vine growing up the wall on a wooden frame, so Jared unbelted his sword, laid it on the grass and started to climb. He could only hear snatches of the conversation above the quiet rustle of leaves against his costume, the gentle creek of the wood. It _was_ Jensen; he was sure of it.

 _Hit it off, Crush, amazing._

Daring to think that Jensen might _just_ be speaking about him, Jared climbed up until he could just barely see over the edge of the balcony.

Jensen was standing there in the moonlight, eyes glistening as he stared out over the garden. Breath hitching slightly, Jared froze - stuck between feeling relief at seeing the boy again and fear of all the possibilities.

“God,” Jensen whispered to the night, trying not to feel foolish for speaking to stars like he was a child stuck in make-believe land. “Why can I just have something for me? I’ve done everything my parents asked of me, then I meet one amazing guy and now he’s going to never be interested in me because my brother is an idiot.”

Jared’s heart fluttered slightly and he reached out then pulled his hand back and turned into the vines. Taking a deep breath, he climbed up quietly, one more step, and reached out to put his hand on the edge of the balcony.

“Jensen,” he whispered.

“What the-” Jensen jumped back, for just one split-second thinking the stars had somehow spoken back to him. Then he turned and saw the hand curved over the balcony and he slowly stepped forward. Peering over the edge, his eyes widened. “Jared? What are you doing?”

“Can’t you just pretend... can’t _we_ pretend we don’t know each other’s last names?’ Jared’s lips twitched into a slight smile. “I heard you,” he said softly. Peering up, he could see Jensen’s face, and the look of surprise made his smile broaden.

“Do you really think that stuff matters to me?” Jensen couldn’t help smiling down at Jared, pressing against the side of the balcony to be closer to him. “I don’t have any problem with your family; I’m not even sure why Josh does, really. It doesn’t bother you?”

“I’m not my name,” Jared said quickly. “I’m just me, and... and this was special; there was something _special_ between us. Did you feel it? Tell me I’m not crazy.” Lifting his hand from the railing, he let his fingers graze the back of Jensen’s hand.

“You weren’t crazy. I felt it, more than I’ve felt anything.” Jensen grinned down at Jared then looked past him down at the grounds, the voices from lingering partygoers echoing up toward them. “God, you need to move. Someone might see you.”

“No one can see me. Don’t- don’t send me away. I came all the way back just to talk to you for a little while. This will sound crazy, Jensen, but do you believe that people can be made for each other?” Jared kept his voice soft, fingers ghosting over Jensen’s hand. The way his heart was thundering in his chest, he was sure that it could be heard for miles.

There wasn’t really any part of Jensen that wanted Jared to leave, not now that he had him here once more and the possibility of _more_ was right in front of him. But he could still hear the voices and it would be so easy to spot Jared if you were to just look up his way. Dropping his voice to an even softer whisper, Jensen lifted his hand to brush against Jared’s. “I do believe that. I... but, Jared, if someone sees you...”

“I might not get another chance to see you for a long time. The party - the masks and stuff.” Jared felt the nip of desperation and tried to climb a little higher. “Is there... are you seeing someone? Michael? I mean, he said no, but-”

“Mike? No, gross. No.” Jensen laughed and shook his head, leaning over the balcony for just a moment and falling back. “Jared, I have never met someone that I just… clicked with like I do with you. God, you practically made me see stars just by touching my cheek. It’s not that I _want_ you to go, but I’d feel horrible if you were caught.”

Jared glanced over Jensen’s shoulder into the warmly lit room. He could hear distant voices in the house so he resisted the urge to climb up further.

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone,” he whispered, leaning forward slightly. The wood beneath him creaked and he grimaced and laughed softly. “Jeff is gonna kill me - Chad kept him busy so I could get away. _God_...” It was all so complicated, and Jared had no idea how they would even manage to see each other, let alone all the other things he wanted to do.

“Jensen!” Mike’s voice came from inside the room; make Jensen jump back in surprise. “Jen? What are you doing?”

Turning, Jensen hurried back into the room, forcing the smile off his lips.

“I was just getting some fresh air; what’s up?” From behind him, there was the rustle of the vines and Jensen glanced back, frowning at the lack of Jared’s hand around the railing.

“Your mom says she needs you to come help with the cleanup.” Mike’s eyes narrowed with suspicion and he looked beyond Jensen’s shoulder, but of course there was nothing there. Because Jared had left and Jensen didn’t even really get the chance to say just how much meeting the boy had already changed him.

“You coming down?” Mike asked, when Jensen made no move forward.

“Yeah, I just… I’m gonna change real fast.” Jensen smiled and shrugged, forcing himself to walk over to his dresser. “I’ll see you down there.”

“Alright.” Mike nodded slowly, looking once more at the balcony before turning and heading out of the room.

Jensen counted to three then turned, running back across the room and out onto the balcony. “Jared? Please still be out here, because I didn’t get to tell you everything. Please don’t have changed your mind.”

Jared’s face broke into a grin at the sound of Jensen’s voice and he climbed back up the vines. He’d hoped that Jensen would come back, been foolish enough to wait there even though he risked being caught. Curling his hands over the edge of the balcony, he pulled himself back up, face beaming when he saw Jensen there.

“I’m still here,” he said shyly.

Relief flooded through Jensen and he stepped forward, slowly resting his hand over Jared’s.

“Good. You’re so...” Jensen didn’t know how to say all of the things he was feeling and he bit his lip, shifting uncertainly. “You must be really strong, the way you climb up here so easily.” He flushed with the words but he grinned at Jared, lifting his free hand to gently lay it over Jared’s cheek. The boy was so gorgeous; Jensen hadn’t gotten to really appreciate that before.

Turning into Jensen’s touch, Jared smiled and pulled himself up higher. Jensen’s cheeks were flushed and Jared simply stared - the way Jensen bit his lip, the way he had reached out to touch him even though he was obviously _just_ as nervous and unsure as Jared just conspired against Jared. Pulling himself up as high as he could, Jared pressed his lips to Jensen’s before the other boy could pull away. The desire that sparked through Jared’s body made him feel a little dizzy, and when Jensen gasped and his lips parted, Jared moaned and leaned harder into the kiss.

Pressing forward, Jensen’s eyes slid closed and his hand moved from Jared’s cheek back to his hair, the other rising to curve over the taller boy’s neck. Jensen hadn’t really thought that kisses could be like they were in romance novels, all fireworks and sparks and heart-stopping pleasure, but that was exactly what it was. Jensen moved his lips against Jared’s and he thought that he could wax poetically about this kiss for the rest of his life and it would never accurately describe it.

Pulling back finally, Jared rested his forehead against Jensen’s. Jensen’s fingers were tangled in his hair, and Jared felt it all the way down his body.

“Whoa,” he said softly.

“Very,” Jensen whispered, his heart racing so hard he could hear it. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.” Jensen kept his eyes closed and his hand in Jared’s hair because he wanted to keep this moment as long as he could.

“You have to meet me, Jensen. This can’t be the last time I see you.” Jared was shaking, the excitement of the night catching up with him.

“Name the place and time; I’ll be there.” Jensen pressed his lips to the corner of Jared’s, just wanting to feel more, _taste_ that rich, chocolate-laced smoothness.

“There’s an orchard behind the church on Fifth Street. Do you know it?” Jared’s tongue swept out to brush along his lip and he pulled back just enough to gaze into Jensen’s eyes.

“Yeah, I do,” Jensen nodded, slowly letting his hand drop from Jared’s hair. “When?” He didn’t go out all that often, but thankfully his parents always let him take the car when he did; they could make this work.

“Meet me there at one o’clock tomorrow. I’ll wait for you by the fountain near the back wall.” Leaning close again, Jared kissed Jensen’s cheek, then the end of his nose. “Promise you’ll come.”

“Nothing could keep me away,” Jensen whispered, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Jared. He knew the boy couldn’t hug him back and continue to hold onto the balcony so Jensen squeezed him once then stepped back. “One o’clock tomorrow. I’ll leave my sword at home.”

Jared just barely managed to stifle his laugh. Sighing, he let go of the balcony and moved down the frame slowly. “Tomorrow then.”

“I’ll miss you,” Jensen said quietly, not even sure if Jared could hear him.

He knew he had to get changed; Mike would probably be back soon, looking for him, but he wanted to make sure Jared got away safely.

There was no way for Jensen to logically explain the shake of his hands unless he could write it all off as nerves. But it was more than that. It was the three hours’ sleep he got because he couldn’t get Jared’s smile - and god, dimples - out of his mind. Or the lie he had told his parents about going to the library then the mall for the afternoon. Or just seeing the boy again because what if it was different in the sunny, late autumn afternoon?

Jensen’s mouth was a little dry as he walked toward the fountain Jared had mentioned, and his palms were sweaty and he thought maybe his dark green button-down shirt was a stupid choice; he really should have gone with something more casual.

When his eyes landed on Jared sitting on a spread-out blanket with a picnic basket at his side, all the air rushed out of his lungs. The taller boy looked amazing in the sunlight, his hair golden and shining, his skin tanned just enough to look natural. The white t-shirt he wore was tight and form-fitting - causing Jensen to trip on the curb and nearly lose his balance - and his black jeans seemed to go on for miles.

Part of Jensen wanted to just stop there and stare at Jared and perfect his painting abilities so he could try and capture Jared’s beauty in art. Deciding that sounded a little too Dorian Grey for his liking - after all, Jensen did kind of believe in magic and he wouldn’t want Jared’s soul to be trapped in a painting - he forced himself forward, stopping at the edge of the blanket.

“Hot date?” he asked with a slow grin, rubbing his palm on his jeans nervously.

“You came.” Jared pushed up to his feet quickly and let out a relieved sigh. His hand lifted toward Jensen then fell back to his side. Jensen was gorgeous. Jared hadn’t imagined it. The boy’s eyes were sparkling and Jared could see even more freckles in the bright afternoon light. Hesitating only a moment more, he stepped closer and kissed Jensen’s cheek quickly. “I was worried you might not be able to come.”

“I told you I wouldn’t miss it,” Jensen said softly, and grinned up at Jared, reaching out to brush their fingers together. There weren’t that many people around; for the most part, the area was secluded from the road and there wasn’t a lot back there, but Jensen still felt the thrill of touching Jared in public. “So, you brought a picnic?”

“Yeah, yes. I did - I mean, it’s nothing fantastic. I made sandwiches and brought some apples and cookies. Soda,” Jared added. Running his hand through his hair nervously, he gestured to the blanket. “Hope you like Coke, but... there’s water too.” Sighing, he pulled Jensen’s hand gently to urge him to sit down.

“I like Coke,” Jensen reassured Jared as he sat beside him, taking a soda when Jared offered it. “You’re really nervous, huh?” he asked softly, letting his hand rest on Jared’s forearm. It was kind of adorable the way Jared seemed all fidgety.

“It’s just…” Jared dropped his gaze to Jensen’s hands. “I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never dated anyone, let alone felt all crazy and messed up inside like I feel about you. You turn me all inside out, Jensen.” Jared smiled and looked up so Jensen would know that it was the best possible feeling. “I couldn’t even sleep last night.”

“Me either. I kept dreaming about you, then waking up all har-” Jensen’s word caught in his throat and he blushed, turning his gaze away and opening his soda. He was a little close to mortified over what he had almost admitted, and he took a few sips of Coke to help calm himself. “I’ve never done this either; nothing close. So, I get it.”

Jared lifted an eyebrow and smiled, relaxing a little as he saw that Jensen _was_ , in fact, feeling all the same things that he was. Laughing softly, he shifted a little closer and slid his hand over Jensen’s thigh. “Are you hungry? Or would you just like to talk for a while?”

The heat of Jared’s hand on his thigh made Jensen squirm but he forced himself to stop, looking into Jared’s warm, hazel eyes with a bright smile. “We could do both? I won’t hold it against you if you talk with your mouth full. I want to hear everything about you.”

Laughing again, Jared swept his hair back with his free hand and then reached down for the closest container. Flipping the lid off, he offered it to Jensen. “Here, my mom’s patented chocolate chip cookies. Best ever. I grew up with these cookies; Dad says it’s what made us all so tall.”

“Yeah?” Jensen laughed and took a cookie, taking a large bite. He was surprised how good they were, but then he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had homemade cookies. “They’re really good. So it’s your parents and you, and obviously, Jeff. Any other siblings?”

“A rotten little sister named Megan.” Leaning forward, Jared stole a bit of Jensen’s cookie then blushed.

“Ah, yeah, I’ve got a little sister too. She’s annoying. I think she goes to your school, actually.” Jensen took another small bite then held the rest of the cookie up against Jared’s lip, letting him have the rest.

Chewing for a few moments, Jared looked down and squeezed Jensen’s thigh.

“I know. I mean, I know Mackenzie, sorta. Actually…” Jared scratched his forehead. “I sneaked into the party because I thought I might like her - like to meet her - but then I saw you and everything inside my head kind of exploded.” Lowering his gaze, Jared blushed. For some reason, he didn’t want there to be any secrets.

“You like my sister?” Jensen looked over at Jared, surprised that the boy liked girls too. It wasn’t like he didn’t know that for some people it went both ways, but he’d just assumed Jared was like him in that way. “Do you two talk a lot? At school?”

“Not at all, really.” Jared laughed nervously. “I was wrong, y’know. About liking her. I don’t think I knew what it felt like - what _this_ felt like - until I saw you. You and your sword.” Smile brightening, Jared lifted his hand to Jensen’s cheek, thumb bumping lightly over the boy’s lips. “I thought about that kiss all night.”

“It was really good.” Jensen spoke as softly as he could, not wanting Jared to move away. “I thought about it too, a lot.” Jensen really had thought about it a lot, the kiss and what could come after a kiss like that. His mind could too easily provide a mental picture, and just thinking about it now was affecting him. “What does it mean, do you think? That it feels this way for us?”

“What does it mean?” Jared tilted his chin down a little, unused to speaking about his feelings with people. Well, he wasn’t used to doing it when he wasn’t going to get teased mercilessly. “All I know is that I want it, more… you. I mean, maybe I haven’t dated anyone but I know what _this_ feeling is.” Shifting closer, Jared slid his hand over the small of Jensen’s back and pulled him a little closer. “What do you think it means?”

“That I haven’t even known you twenty-four hours and I want to spend every single second I possibly can with you,” Jensen murmured, turning into Jared slightly and laying a hand on his chest. “I also thought love at first sight was a myth, or some silly thing imagined in books, but... I don’t know; maybe that’s not true.” Jensen blushed with the words, choosing to focus instead on how good Jared’s sculpted chest felt even through the shirt.

Licking his lips, Jared felt the heat again, searing through his veins the moments Jensen’s touched him.

“Love? You think maybe...” Swaying forward slightly, fingers rubbing against the smooth, dark material of Jensen’s shirt, Jared smiled crookedly.

“Well, it’s more than just being attracted to each other. I feel the pull, I know you do too. We might have something really amazing.” Jensen wet his lips and stared up at Jared, his heart hammering hard in his chest once more. “Right? Do you want that?”

“Absolutely. I do - I mean, yeah. Yes.” Jared nodded, giving up on finding the right words. Ducking his head down slightly, he pressed his lips to Jensen’s; they seemed even softer than the night before, cookie sweet and a little sticky, and Jared smiled against the shorter boy’s mouth.

Two kisses in and Jensen already knew that he never wanted to kiss anyone but Jared for the rest of his life. His hand slid up Jared’s chest and pressed along his jaw, keeping him turned into the kiss. His mouth parted against the taller boy’s, his tongue sliding nervously along Jared’s lower lip before extending forward to graze over Jared’s. The touch was surprising enough to have Jensen gasping into the kiss, his tongue pulling back out of instinct.

Jared’s skin came alive with cool shivers and he moaned softly. Angling his body, he slid his hand down to Jensen’s hip, fingers curling into the firm body. His tongue chased Jensen’s, slipping into the sweet heat of his mouth. The whole world narrowed down to that sweet, silky mouth, the way Jensen’s fingers curled into the material of his shirt, and the tremble he could feel in the smaller boy’s body.

Pressing closer, Jensen considering climbing onto Jared’s lap for a moment, if just to feel the heat of him against every inch of his frame. All at once, Jensen wanted _everything_ and he moaned louder into the kiss, slipping his hand up into Jared’s hair. He could spend hours doing this, and his tongue slid around Jared’s, his lips drawing together as he sucked Jared’s tongue harder into his mouth.

All Jared could manage to think was _more_. Pushing at Jensen’s shirt, Jared managed to get his fingers under the hem and his heart exploded into a flutter of beats when he felt the smooth heat of Jensen’s flesh. _This_ couldn’t be wrong - this _feeling_ \- no matter who they were.

The feel of Jared’s hand on his skin was maddening and Jensen gasped, the shaky inhales he was managing cutting off completely. Jensen pulled back from the kiss, remembering where they were despite the illusion of privacy.

“Jared,” he murmured, his voice deeper and thicker than he’d ever heard it before. “Jesus.” Jensen managed another gasp, pressing his lips to Jared’s neck as he panted softly.

It was entirely too easy for Jared to lean in, slide both arms around Jensen’s waist and pull him closer. Curving his hand under Jensen’s thigh, Jared lifted his leg slightly so he could pull Jensen half onto his lap. He’d never felt such a need to be closer to anyone.

Cupping the back of Jensen’s neck, Jared turned into the other boy’s hair so he could breathe in that rich, clean scent again. “God,” he whispered. “How do I not love you?”

The pleasant ripple of warmth that moved through Jensen was enough to make him shiver and he squeezed his eyes tight, gripping Jared to him.

“You just love me; there’s no reason not to. I don’t care what everyone else might think.” And for the first time, Jensen really _didn’t_ care what his parents or friends thought.

Jared’s heart was pounding, his blood whipping through his veins lightning fast. Holding Jensen’s shoulders firmly, he held him back so their eyes could meet again.

“You’ll see me again? Whenever we can?” He couldn’t stand the idea of feeling any more for Jensen if the boy wouldn’t agree. “Tonight. Let me come to your room tonight.” When Jensen’s eyes widened, Jared’s grin just grew. “I’ll climb up the trellis again. You have a lock on your door? What times does everyone go to bed?”

Jensen stared at Jared, wondering if he could think of a reason for Jared _not_ to come into his room. Not finding one, Jensen wet his lips and swallowed down the burst of nerves and excitement.

“Ten or Eleven. Eleven, to be safe. I’ll leave the balcony unlocked and I’ll lock my door.” He almost couldn’t stand to wait until that night, couldn’t wait for all the things Jared might give him. “I might be in bed.”

Jared’s grin wavered for just a second as the significance of what they were planning settled deep inside him. It sparked a longing he’d never experienced before and he bit down on his bottom lip. “Perfect. I was kind of hoping...” Dropping his gaze for a moment, he took a deep breath then lifted his eyes to Jensen’s once more. “I was hoping that we could, you know...”

The way Jensen’s heart skipped a beat was enough to be lethal and he bit down on his lip, staring down at Jared’s thighs for a long moment before drawing back and meeting Jared’s eyes. “That we might... be in bed together?”

Jared simply nodded, slowly, deliberately, as he tried to gather he thoughts enough to speak.

“I want you,” he said softly.

Jensen could feel the burn of a blush on his cheeks and he inhaled deeply, trying to control the way his dick suddenly pressed tight and hard in his jeans. “I want you too,” he whispered, meeting Jared’s eyes. “I’ve never...”

“Me either,” Jared said quickly. “I mean, I know... What... Are you…? Do you think you’re...?” Jared’s eyes widened again and he smiled as his hand slid higher under Jensen’s shirt. He could feel how warm the other boy was, and smiled when he felt Jensen’s skin pebble beneath his touch. “Have you thought about it?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve seen... you know, movies. Online. A few times when I was curious.” Jensen rolled his lips together, trying to keep from moaning at Jared’s touch and shifting forward to hide how turned on he was. Jared seemed to be affecting every part of him. “I thought about it, last night. You know, when, after, you know.” Jensen stumbled over his words, blinking rapidly to clear the blur in his vision.

Jared’s long fingers slid up through Jensen’s silky hair and he gripped it tightly. “Me too. I thought about your mouth on me, touching you, all of you.”

Leaning closer, Jared trailed his lips along Jensen’s cheek, nipping gently at the rosy flush above those crazy freckles. His lips found Jensen’s earlobe and he sucked gently, flicking his tongue over the velvety-soft skin.

“I want to be inside you,” he whispered, breath hitching.

“God,” Jensen swore softly, his hand slapping down onto Jared’s thigh and clenching hard. “I- I... Yes, yeah, I want that too.” It hurt to breathe, hurt to move, because his erection was caught in his tightly-confining jeans, and Jensen was a little worried that the stimulation would just become _too_ much. “We- we’ll do that? Tonight?”

Dropping back slightly, Jared stared hard into Jensen’s eyes.

“Is that what you want?” There was no question in Jared’s mind that was what _he_ wanted.

“Yes.” Jensen nodded without hesitation, then, after a moment, he grabbed Jared’s wrist and slid his hand out from under his shirt, bringing it between his legs instead. His cheeks flamed, Jensen could feel them burning, but he met Jared’s eyes. “I want it.”

Just like that, Jared’s body was on fire again. He could feel how hard Jensen was, and curled his palm over the bulge in the shorter boy’s jeans. When Jensen’s hips rocked forward, Jared pressed harder and claimed his mouth again. Thrusting his tongue forward, he swept it along Jensen’s and moaned. He wanted it all in that moment, right there, and if it wasn’t for the fact that they could be discovered at any moment, he’d be pushing Jensen down onto the grass.

Panting, Jared broke the kiss and stared wide-eyed at Jensen. The smaller boy’s eyes were closed, long, dark lashes fanned out on his flushed cheeks. His lips were glistening in the afternoon sun, and Jared’s heart melted a little more.

“It’s gonna be a long day,” Jensen muttered, then slowly opened his eyes, staring up at Jared. “Now all I see when I close my eyes is you over me.” Jensen felt like this was some wonderful type of torture and he never wanted it to stop.

Managing a gentle laugh, Jared slid his free hand higher until he could feel Jensen’s ribs. His thumb swept over the other boy’s flesh gently, slowly, leaning each curve of muscle and jut of bone.

“We should be careful here -- people.” But his other hand was still pressing against Jensen’s hard-on, tracing the rigid line under denim.

“Uh-huh.” Jensen nodded shakily and wet his lips, surprised that he was still managing to stay upright considering how out of control Jared was making him feel. “If there weren’t people, I’d let you take me right now,” he murmured, teeth dragging hard over his lips.

Jared’s breath hissed past his lips and he dragged his hand down Jensen’s thigh. “I can’t... _you_ are killing me here.”

Laughing nervously, the sound deep and full, Jared withdrew his hand from under Jensen’s shirt and took a deep, shaky breath. His hands settled on Jensen’s hips once more, and he could feel the ever-so-subtle rock forward under his palms.

“You’re perfect,” Jared murmured.

“Hardly,” Jensen scoffed, but he grinned at Jared then slowly shifted an inch away, another inch to be safe. “Okay, let’s eat some food and talk; you know, learn about each other. Before we get arrested for public indecency.” He smiled softly over at Jared before reaching out for another cookie.

Jared brushed his hair off his forehead and reached over for some wrapped sandwiches.

“Ham and cheese. You know, if you want more than just cookies. I’m kind of addicted to sugar, myself.” Jared’s cheeks were hurting because of all the smiling he was doing.

“At the risk of being outrageously cheesy, I’m kind of addicted to you.” Jensen smirked over at Jared before reaching for a sandwich, unwrapping it slowly. “Are you sixteen too?”

“Just turned seventeen. Jeff says it doesn’t make any difference, that I’ll always be his idiot kid brother. Do you get along with Josh?” Now that the topic of their older brothers had been brought up, Jared felt a ripple of nervousness.

“Not particularly. We don’t have very much in common. He’s the sports star and I’m the music prodigy.” Jensen shrugged, taking a few small bites of his sandwich then looking back up. “Do you play football too?”

Shaking his head, Jared laughed. “No, I’m more of a non-sports kind of guy. I like writing, reading... those kinds of things. I would like to do something with my hands, like carpentry or gardening, but Jeff says that’s dumb.” Jared held up a hand and stared at it like somehow he might get some answers if he looked hard enough. “What about you?”

“I play music. I like to draw some and paint but I’m not really talented or anything. I love to read; I would read every second of every day if I could.” Jensen looked over at Jared and laughed softly. “Well, maybe not _every_ second. I’m glad you’re not a big jock; I honestly don’t know anything about sports.”

“I know enough not to get mocked watching a game with Dad and Jeff.” Jared pulled the wrapper off a sandwich and took a bite. Chewing thoughtfully, he frowned then glanced over at Jensen as he swallowed. “Do you know why all this started? The fighting and stuff? I mean, I’m not crazy - I’m sure that Jeff and Josh were friends once.”

“Yeah, they were; I remember it too.” But Jensen wasn’t sure he remembered Jared. Maybe they hadn’t met as children. “I’m not really sure what happened. A fight? They liked the same girl? Who knows. Maybe they had a gay tryst and hating each other is the only way they can deal with it.” Jensen laughed at the thought, shaking his head.

As soon as the image of Josh _and_ Jeff was in his mind, Jared shoved it aside and shuddered. “Nope, not even going there.” He took another bite of his sandwich and put it back down on the wrapper. “Jeff really would kick my ass if he knew...”

“I know; Josh would too.” Jensen understood exactly what Jared was saying and he sighed softly, finishing off the sandwich silently. After a few drinks from his Coke, he looked toward Jared again with a sad smile. “Honestly? I think my family would disown me if they knew I was gay. That wasn’t part of the _master plan_.”

“What do they want you to do?” Jared felt a bit more like he just wasn’t all that important in his home. After all, when your older brother was a star athlete and you didn’t even play a sport, it could be considered a disappointment.

“I’ve already got an early acceptance for Julliard. I’m supposed to go there next year instead of graduating with my class. I’m supposed to use my musical talents to bring wealth and pride to our family.” Jensen knew he sounded just the slightest shade of bitter but he couldn’t help it, no one wanted to be told what to do with their lives.

Jared supposed it was a bit too early for him to feel such a sharp sting of fear at the idea of losing Jensen. “But what about your friends? Your regular classes?”

What he really wanted to ask was: _what about me_.

“I don’t really have friends, and all my classes are specialized; mostly, I’m taking all the advanced stuff to graduate early.” Jensen frowned then looked over at Jared, seeing the sadness on his face. “We- we could make something happen, right? I mean, it would only be a year; you could come stay with me on breaks. If... you know, if you wanted to.”

“Sounds a lot like you’ve already decided that you’re mine,” Jared said quietly. His hand moved back to Jensen’s thigh again, rubbing slowly.

“I thought that’s what you wanted.” Jensen stared down at the hand on his thigh, laying his hand over Jared’s a moment later. “Aren’t I yours?”

“Yeah,” Jared agreed quickly. “I just… I keep feeling things and then you say them - and - well, for the first time ever, I don’t feel like I’m nuts.” Jared’s smile widened and he leaned in again to steal another kiss.

“Not nuts,” Jensen whispered, and pressed up into the kiss, fingers curling in Jared’s shirt and releasing. He wanted to spend the rest of the day kissing Jared here on the picnic blanket, preferably lying down, because the boy made him a little dizzy.

“What time do you have to be home?” Jared pressed his lips together and looked down.

“Soon,” Jensen murmured, wishing he could take the words back. He didn’t ever want to leave. “What about you?”

“Soon. Supper.” Jared lifted his hand to brush a lock of hair back off Jensen’s forehead. “Won’t be long before tonight, though, right?” It felt like he’d have to wait a thousand years but he was _so_ sure that it would be well worth it.

“I hope not.” Jensen laughed shakily, leaning into Jared’s touch. He’d likely be counting every second until Jared came over and he was pretty sure it was going to feel like a lifetime. “Will you bring, um, stuff with you? You know, for, the thing.”

“Yeah,” Jared nodded. The problem was he wasn’t entirely sure what Jensen was talking about. It was only a few seconds later when his cheeks flushed as he realized. “Oh. Yeah. I will. I should do that.” Jeff’s room. Stealth mission.

“Okay, because I definitely don’t have... You know, I usually just use hand lotion and-” Jensen groaned and dropped his head into his hands, shoulders slumping. “I find it incredibly hard not to say what’s on my mind around you.”

The tension broke as Jared laughed and he pulled Jensen forward into his arms. “I like that. I think you should always say whatever you’re thinking. Jensen? Can I ask you a question?”

Relaxing into Jared’s arms, Jensen hummed softly and nodded. “Yeah, anything.”

“No matter what, we’ll stick together, right? I mean - if people find out, things could get bad. But I don’t want... I mean, I want us to have a chance. Okay?”

“Yeah, we’ll stick together.” Jensen grinned at Jared, absolutely sure of what he was saying even if he’d known Jared less than a day. He’d never been surer of something. “No matter what happens, I promise it’ll always be us in the end.”

Nodding quietly, Jared felt himself growing a little surer. If they both believed that their relationship could work - sure, that would be enough. “I could feed you pieces of an apple. You know, dessert.”

Jensen was cleaning his room when Josh came in. Sure, it was kind of silly to clean his room; after all, it would be dark and Jared wouldn’t see anything but, well, if he didn’t clean, then maybe Jared would trip over an old outfit or something. For whatever the reason, Jensen wanted his room clean and there was nothing weird about that.

Unless you asked his brother, who came into the room and instantly started pulling drawers open at his desk.

Jensen straightened up from beside his bed and scowled at his brother. “Can I help you?”

Josh glanced his way and laughed, shaking his head. “Easy, Princess; just lookin’ for some money.”

“In _my_ room?” Jensen’s eyebrows rose, his hands pressing on his hips until he realized that wouldn’t really help the _Princess_ nickname.

“Yeah, in your room. You got any?” Josh scooped a handful of pens, bookmarks and paperclips from the drawer, tossing them onto the desk.

Jensen scowled and crossed to his brother, slapping his arm. “Stop being an ass, Josh. I don’t have any money. Why don’t you ask Mom and Dad?”

“Because I’ve spent my allowance and they won’t give me more. Where’s your allowance? Come on, I know they give you, like, fifty a week.” Josh punched his arm in return, smirking when Jensen flinched and stepped back.

“That’s not true,” Jensen shot back, and he wasn’t lying; for the past year, his parents gave him sixty dollars a week. It wasn’t his fault if Josh didn’t do his chores and therefore got less. “And I put all of my money in my savings account. Maybe if you weren’t an imbecile, you’d do likewise.”

“Look, you little bitch, fork over some money or I’ll tell Mom about your dirty little secret.” Josh straightened up, stepping into Jensen’s space and scowling at him.

Fear curled deep in the pit of his stomach and Jensen stepped back, his eyes widening.

“W-what dirty- I don’t have any secrets,” he whispered, wondering how Josh possibly could have found out about Jared. Had he seen? Did he hear something? Had Mike said something?

“Oh, come on, Jensen, you think I don’t know about the books under your bed?” Josh leered, his eyes rolling in obvious annoyance. “It’s not the first time I’ve looked in your room, Jenny boy; I know all about your sick little perversion.”

Jensen had to force himself not to slump in relief. He could deal with his brother knowing about the books as long as it wasn’t Jared that he thought was Jensen’s secret. Not that he really wanted his brother to tell his parents but that was fairly easy to prevent. “I don’t have any money, Josh; go ask Mack or something.”

“You’re a fuckin’ fag,” Josh snapped, and shoved Jensen hard, pressing his fingers painfully against Jensen’s chest and making him stumble back.

Jensen nearly tripped over his rug, his eyes widening even further. “Why are you such an asshole to me? I haven’t even done anything. I’m your brother.”

In one quick motion, Josh crossed the room and backed Jensen up against the wall, gripping his arm painfully tight, enough to make Jensen hiss. “No brother of mine takes it up the ass, _Jenny_. You think you’re so perfect? You think you’re Mommy’s precious little boy? Well, all the shit’s about to hit the fan, and you’re not gonna come out looking so special on the other side.”

By the time Jensen sucked in a surprised breath, his brother was already turning and leaving, slamming the door behind him. Jensen’s heart was racing and his stomach was churning painfully.

“Jesus,” he whispered, pulling his arm up to rub over the place Josh had grabbed and twisted. He had no idea what his brother’s warning really meant, except that he better find a better hiding place for his books if he had any desire to continue living with his family until Julliard.

Sinking down to the floor, Jensen wrapped his arms around his knees and wished that there was another solution. Now he’d be living in fear from his brother’s threat and longing for Jared, and suddenly things were a lot more complicated than they used to be.


	3. Chapter 3

The early evening passed so slowly that Jared thought time might actually be standing still. He finished up his homework, folded his clean clothes, and spent a good half an hour teasing Megan until she told their mom. The next big task Jared undertook was deciding what to wear. It shouldn’t seem like a big deal - except that it was. He felt like everything was happening so fast, but that he would remember it all. Jared would remember the costumes they were wearing the night they met, the smell of the leather mask he had worn, the chocolate chip cookies he would now equate forever with the softness of Jensen’s lips.

By ten o’clock, Jared was dressed in his third and final outfit. He’d started out with cotton slacks and a button-down shirt and ended up in a tight, black v-neck t-shirt and his most comfortable jeans, his favorite leather boots and his canvas jacket. His hair, as usual, was tousled and messy but he figured he had a walk and a climb ahead of him anyway.

Opening his door quietly, Jared held his breath and listened carefully. Other than the usual creaking and ticking around the house, it was quiet. The stupid thing was that his parents probably wouldn’t mind if he said he was going out - hell - they probably wouldn’t even notice. Jared just didn’t need Jeff getting curious. Jeff always made the assumption that his little brother needed a _babysitter_ and Jared certainly didn’t need one of those.

He checked his pockets for his wallet and the small bottle he’d swiped from Jeff’s bedside table earlier in the evening, and for the briefest moment, he felt apprehensive; maybe there were too many problems ahead of them. But Jensen’s face flashed in Jared’s mind and every ounce of hesitation was gone. He just wanted to see the boy again.

Slipping out into the hallway, he made his way through the house quietly and headed outside.

The Ackles’ house was quiet; it was a huge contrast from the night of the party, and Jared was overly conscious of every sound he made. Each crunch under his boot and scuff off concrete made him wince and freeze. It took him longer than he expected to get over the gate and into the yard, then around back. Everything had seemed closer during the party.

Reaching up, Jared grabbed on to the wooden frame below Jensen’s window and climbed up as silently as he could. Jensen’s room was dark when Jared swung his leg over the balcony railing and landed in a crouch on the other side. The balcony door was ajar and one of the dark curtains was billowing out. Pushing it aside, Jared slipped inside the warmth of the room.

It smelled like Jensen, and Jared’s lips twitched into a smile as his eyes became accustomed to the darkness.

The slight creak of the balcony door had Jensen rolling over, watching Jared’s silhouette from the moonlight move across the room. He didn’t want to surprise Jared and make him freak out so he moved purposefully, clearing his throat softly.

“Was wondering when you’d turn up,” he murmured softly, sitting up to smile at Jared.

“You told me to wait,” Jared replied just as softly. Slipping out of his boots, he padded over to Jensen’s bed and stood there, staring down at the shorter boy. The sheet had slid down Jensen’s body, slightly revealing the pale skin of his chest, and Jared curled his bottom lip under his teeth. Even in the dimly lit room, he could see Jensen’s eyes were wide, his hair sleep-tousled, and Jared’s heart sped up.

“I know. I’m sure everyone’s in bed, though,” Jensen murmured, refusing to think about his brother and what he would do if he caught Jared here. “Was the walk okay?” he asked quietly, dropping back down to lay flat and stare up at Jared.

Tilting his head, Jared gazed down at Jensen then sank down to sit on the edge of his bed. There was sadness to Jensen’s expression that Jared hadn’t seen before, and he reached out for the other boy’s hand. Jensen’s fingers were warm in his cold grip. “It was fine. Are you alright?”

“Oh.” Jensen looked up toward Jared, his eyes widening for a moment. He hadn’t thought Jared would be able to read him so easily but apparently he was wrong. It was kind of amazing to think that Jared knew him well enough to tell already. “Just my brother. He got a little crazy this afternoon; nothing to worry about.” Jensen slid up so he was sitting again, hand running up along Jared’s arm. “You cold?”

“It’s a little chilly out.” Jared smiled and pulled his leg up onto the bed. “You wanna talk about it? Whatever crazy thing your brother did?”

“You wanna get under the covers and get warm first?” Jensen pulled the blankets out from under Jared, flopping the cover back and letting Jared see that he was just wearing jersey boxers. “We can talk then.”

Jared felt his eyes widen as he stood up slowly. Nervous, he ran a hand through his hair then shrugged out of his jacket. After looking around for a few moments, he pulled a small bottle out of his pocket and set it on the nightstand. He folded his jacket and laid it over the back of a chair then crossed his arms and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt; he could feel his hands shaking and he smiled over at Jensen. The shorter boy’s eyes were locked on him and Jared suddenly felt a little self-conscious knowing that Jensen would be seeing his body for the first time.

Tugging the shirt up and off quickly, Jared folded it as well and lay it on his jacket. A little embarrassed, he shrugged and rubbed a hand across his chest, smiling down at Jensen.

“You’re gorgeous,” Jensen murmured and shifted over, holding his hand out for Jared. “Hurry it up; I want to touch you.” He grinned at Jared, already feeling better than he had before as he was waiting for the taller boy. Dinner had been hell, sitting across from his brother and expecting the bomb to drop at any moment. But since Josh had been trying to stay on his parents’ good side to get money, he’d held his tongue. Jensen was ready for a Jared-shaped distraction.

Smiling wider, Jared fumbled with the buttons on his jeans and slipped out of them, pulling his socks off. After setting the rest of his clothes on the chair, he walked back over to the bedside and reached out to stroke his fingers through Jensen’s hair.

“I love the way you look at me,” he said. It was like Jensen actually _saw_ him, like Jared mattered.

Jensen’s eyes were trained to the tight, black jersey boxers outlining Jared’s body, and heat rose in him, already causing his body to react.

“Good, ‘cause I’m gonna be looking a lot,” he muttered, and dragged his eyes up Jared’s barely-sculpted chest, new muscles forming and making the skin draw tight. “A whole lot,” he laughed, and finally met Jared’s eyes, wetting his lips. “How could this possibly be wrong?”

The words were so familiar to Jared, in his thoughts since he first found out who Jensen was. Kneeling down, he slipped under the covers and lay down on his side. Propping his head up, he smiled, hair falling forward into his eyes, and slid his other hand over the warm skin just above Jensen’s boxers. “It’s not wrong. Not at all.”

“My brother knows I’m gay. He found out about some... these books I have. Anyway, he put it together and basically he told me today that I wasn’t his brother because no brother of his takes it up the ass.” Jensen frowned, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. “And he just kept asking for money it’s- god, it’s like blackmail. He’s basically saying I give him money or he’s gonna tell Mom and Dad and they’re gonna flip.”

“Whoa, Jensen...” Jared shifted closer and curled his arm protectively around the other boy. “That’s shitty. That’s... Wow - I don’t even know what to say. Do you think he would really do it?” For once, Jared was relieved that Jeff was just obnoxiously overprotective.

“In a heartbeat,” Jensen said without hesitation, giving Jared a sad smile. “He’s never been my biggest fan. You know, my parents always put him in sports, just like they always sent me to piano lessons. Neither of us chose these hobbies, but he seems to think I get a kick out of holding my skills over him. He has no idea how many hours I’ve poured into learning to play.” Jensen dipped forward and pressed his lips to Jared’s collarbone. “He hurt me. It completely freaked me out.”

Something protective surged forward inside Jared and he wrapped his arms around Jensen’s shoulders and rolled onto his back so he could hold Jensen as close as possible.

“I won’t let him hurt you again.” Maybe it was a stupid thing to say, but Jared would do whatever he could to keep Jensen safe. “He’s got no right to treat you like that,” Jared murmured into Jensen’s hair.

“I wish you could kick his ass,” Jensen muttered, shifting so he could straddle Jared’s hips and rest across his body. “You’d totally win too, I know it. He’s got a couple of weak spots, under the left ribs, the back of his knees.” Jensen sighed and pressed his hands into the mattress, lifting up to stare down at the taller boy. “I don’t think Mike would let him do anything to me, but Mike’s not always here.” Jensen didn’t add that Jared wasn’t always there either, but they both knew it.

Shaking his head slowly, Jared slipped his broad palms around to the small of Jensen’s back. “I’m worried about you,” he said softly. Shifting slightly, he tried to ignore the fact that Jensen was pressed up against him, straddling him, _God_. “What can I do to help?”

“Take me away from this place,” Jensen whispered, then dipped down, slanting his mouth over Jared’s. He wasn’t sure if he meant literally or figuratively but right now all he wanted was to not think about anything but Jared for the rest of the night. This time, he didn’t hesitate sliding his tongue forward to sweep along Jared’s lips and work his way inside.

Jared’s body jolted at the feel of Jensen’s lips and the urgency of the kiss. His hands slid up the other boy’s back, one cupping the back of his neck and holding him there, deepening the kiss. Jensen’s body was fiery warm and firm, his skin so smooth and soft against Jared’s. Hardly able to believe where he was, that Jensen would _want_ to be with him, Jared moaned softly into the kiss, and then all the breath left his body when he felt the hard line of Jensen’s arousal pressed against his belly.

Kissing like this was so much different than the afternoon in the park. Jensen kept thinking he’d wake up from this fantasy, then things would get more intense, impossible to write off as fiction. He knew Jared could feel how turned on he was, and when he pulled back from the kiss, he didn’t bother hiding his blush. “Just thinking about you gets me all... you know.”

Laughing softly, Jared took a deep breath and rolled his hips up slightly. Pleasure darted through his body as he pressed up against Jensen’s body. “You feel that?”

All the air rushed out of Jensen’s lungs and he swallowed thickly, staring wide-eyed down at Jared. “Yeah,” he whispered, slowly rolling his frame down against Jared’s. “You nervous?”

Cocking his head slightly, Jared smiled. “A little, but only because I want - because I want this to be good, perfect. I want to make you feel good - make everything else disappear.”

Jared frowned and turned away, feeling a little sheepish.

Fingers pressing to Jared’s jaw, Jensen turned him back so their eyes could meet again and he smiled down at him. “It’s already better than anything I’ve ever felt. And anything we do, everything, it’s going to be perfect, I know it.”

Jensen slid further down Jared’s body until their equally hard arousals slid together, two thin layers of cotton all that was separating them.

It was difficult for Jared not to moan too loud. His nails dug into Jensen’s back and dragged up the skin. As his hands trailed back down Jensen’s body, he could feel the muscles moving under flesh, rippling as Jensen’s frame rocked slightly. Tucking his fingers under the waistband of Jensen’s boxers, Jared pushed them gently, eyes still locked with the other boy’s. “I want to feel all of you, just skin. Just _you_.”

“Yeah,” Jensen murmured, and flipped off Jared’s body, pushing the boxers the rest of the way down. He lost his bravado when he threw the material off the edge of the bed. Jensen bit his lip and half glanced toward Jared. “Your turn,” he whispered, and tried to resist tugging the blanket over his lap.

Jared’s gaze moved down Jensen’s body to the boy’s swollen flesh and he sucked in a quick breath. Lifting his hips up off the bed, he shoved at his shorts then kicked out of them and rolled over to face Jensen. His fingers trailed along Jensen’s ribs, then down his side and along his hipbone.

“I want to touch you,” Jared said softly.

Slowly lowering himself down, Jensen rested on the pillow and turned his gaze down the full length of Jared’s frame. The taller boy was completely breathtaking bare like this, and Jensen nearly moaned just at the sight of him. All he could manage was a short nod, inhaling loud enough they could both hear it.

“You’re... I like looking at you.” Laughing softly, Jared rubbed his thumb against the soft furrow of Jensen’s hip. “You’re hot, sexy and beautiful. Are there other words?” Shifting closer, Jared leaned down to brush his lips softly against Jensen’s. “You’re mine; how about that? I’ll just say: Jensen, you’re mine.” As the words left his mouth, Jared swept the backs of his fingers down the length of Jensen’s cock.

Shoulders shuddering, Jensen rocked his hips up against Jared’s fingers, already desperate for more of the other boy’s touch.

“Yours,” he whispered, panting softly as he stared up at Jared. He felt weirdly exposed in the best way, like Jared could see every part of him, and he loved it all without question, without asking for more than what Jensen wanted to give. Which was everything. “And you… you’re mine,” he murmured, reaching out to tucking Jared’s hair behind his ear.

Nodding, Jared rolled half over Jensen, pressing him down into the soft mattress. His body was alive with the sensation; smooth skin, hot, firm, the full flesh of Jensen’s cock, the way the shorter boy’s body arched up slightly. And his face. Jensen’s face was beautiful. Flushed skin and full, glistening lips left Jared breathless.

Threading his fingers up through Jensen’s hair, Jared smiled. “You sure? About this?”

“Definitely.” Jensen half nodded and let his arm slide over Jared’s middle, pushing up to get as much of their skin touching as possible. He wasn’t as nervous as he thought he would be, and maybe it was crazy to trust Jared already, but he did, and nothing could be better than this anyway. “I want you to be my first and only.”

A deep laugh rumbled within Jared’s chest and he tilted his head to pepper kisses down Jensen temple, his cheek, the end of his nose. “People will say we’re crazy.”

“People are crazy; we’re just lucky,” Jensen murmured, tilting up to capture Jared’s lips in a soft kiss, deepening it within moments. He didn’t care what other people thought about them, as long as he had Jared.

It was easy for Jared to press forward into the kiss, tilt his head and deepen it. Jensen’s lips were willing, warm, and his tongue greeted Jared’s. Slick, wet and hot, the kiss sent tingles racing down Jared’s spine. Ghosting his fingers down Jensen’s thigh, he felt the smaller boy move beneath him and moaned into the kiss just as his fingers curled around his cock. Stroking up once, Jared rode the arch-up of Jensen’s body. Breaking back from the kiss, he stared down at the pleasure on Jensen’s face, the half-smile, the way he bit down on his bottom lip. Stroking slowly down, the flesh velvet-hard beneath his palm, Jared squeezed gently.

“God,” Jensen moaned, and turned his gaze to Jared, his version blurred from pleasure. How could so little feel _so_ good? “I gotta-” Jensen bit his lip to keep down the next moan when Jared squeezed and stroked up once more. He laughed shakily and closed his eyes, rocking up into Jared’s hand. “Gotta be quiet,” he whispered, and slid his fingers back through Jared’s hair, slowly gripping the taller boy’s silky strands.

Licking his lips, Jared closed his eyes for a few moments. Releasing Jensen’s flesh, he reached behind him for the small bottle and slicked up his fingers. Tossing the bottle aside, he slid down Jensen’s side, kissing down his torso, along the groove of his hip. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” Jensen whispered, and spread his legs further to show Jared just how much he did trust him. Jensen wasn’t sure he had ever really trusted anyone before; it was sort all-consuming to feel Jared’s lips over his body, and he bit his lip to keep from moaning once more.

Jensen’s skin tasted a little salty, a little sweet, and Jared smiled into the curve of flesh at the other boy’s hip. Lingering there, he sucked at the skin, latching on tightly and loving the feel of Jensen squirming beneath him. His tongue flicked over the skin, teasing as he sucked a bruise there, marking Jensen as his own.

Pulling in several deep, thready breaths, Jensen gave in to the desire to arch his body up, fingers curling into the sheet. The mix of pain and pleasure from the way Jared was marking him wasn’t nearly as hot as the _idea_ of Jared _marking_ him. He suddenly wanted those marks on his neck, maybe Jared’s name tattooed on his skin, so everyone would know just who he belonged to.

“Jared,” Jensen moaned softly, legs spreading impossibly wider.

Gasping as he broke the suction on Jensen’s skin, Jared peered down at the dark red mark that was already there. Lapping his way further down, he pulled in a deep breath then dragged his tongue up the length of Jensen’s shaft.

No part of Jensen had been expecting the other boy’s mouth to touch his aching dick, and he had to bite his lip to keep from calling out.

“Oh, Jesus, Jared,” Jensen gasped, at the next broad stroke up his skin. He was panting already, squirming on the mattress, trying not to beg for more.

While Jensen’s moans were soft, his body writhing, Jared lapped his way up and down the smaller boy’s cock. Sliding his hand between Jensen’s legs, he rubbed his slick fingers around Jensen’s tight muscle, pressing gently, teasing his way in as he sank his mouth down over the end of his dick.

Jensen didn’t think Jared had done any of this before, and somehow that made it all the more amazing. He rocked his hips gently up into Jared’s mouth then back down onto his fingers, the first press inside him sparking all the nerve endings in his body. He forced himself to relax, to take more, caught up in the pain and pleasure and fucking _Jared_.

All Jared had thought about was how to make everything feel _perfect_ for Jensen. He knew what he would want if their places were reversed; hell, he knew what he _did_ want. Seeing the look of lust on Jensen’s face, watching as the sex-blush crept up the boy’s body; those were things that Jared had only fantasized about. And now, here was his _someone_.

Sliding his finger deeper, twisting, pressing, he moved him, mouth up and down on Jensen’s swollen shaft. The taste was tart, bittersweet, and Jared sucked hard, drawing more precome from the over-heated flesh.

Jensen could barely breathe, was just barely swallowing down each moan that bubbled up in him. As his body grew accustomed to Jared’s finger moving faster and deeper within him, Jensen could feel the burning ache for more in the pit of his stomach and he moaned deeply and forced quiet as Jared took more of him in his mouth. “More,” he managed to gasp, rocking down onto Jared’s finger. “God, more, Jared.”

Jared slid another finger past the tight ring of muscle and felt Jensen’s body shudder against his. It was amazing the way Jensen just _wanted_ , the way his hips rolled up then pressed back down. Moaning against Jensen’s flesh, Jared slid off slowly, teasing with his tongue as he pulled back. Sucking gently at the head, Jared cast his gaze up. Shivers ran down his body when he saw the way Jensen’s skin was flushed, the darkness of his eyes and the way his lip was caught under his teeth.

Without waiting, Jared slid another finger into him. His own cock was aching, swollen and heavy, and he couldn’t resist rocking his hips forward to press _hard_ against Jensen’s leg.

It was likely feeling just how hard Jared was that made Jensen nearly buck up off the bed. Every inch of him was sparking, like Jared was somehow pulling him apart in all the best ways. Even the faint burn of three fingers stretching him didn’t make the pleasure ebb, and Jensen knew he was going to lose it if Jared didn’t take him right then and there.

“Now, Jared, please,” Jensen gasped, panting heavily and lifting his head to peer down at the other boy. “I need you in me.”

Lust slammed into Jared so hard, he stopped breathing. Pulling his fingers back, he snatched up the bottle again and slicked up his flesh. Rolling over Jensen’s body, he lowered himself down slowly and captured the shorter boy’s mouth beneath his. Every heartbeat sent shivers of heat skittering across his skin, and Jared slid his tongue forward and swept it along every surface of Jensen’s mouth. He just wanted to _claim_ him, every part of him.

Moaning, Jared broke from the kiss and settled between Jensen’s legs. Leaning on one arm, he reached down with the other and lifted Jensen’s leg slightly so he could line up his cock. It took every bit of willpower he had not to just slide in on the first push. Jensen’s body opened to him, resisted slightly, and then gave. The sudden feel of muscle clamped around his cock, the heat of Jensen’s body, everything - it was perfect and hot and Jared struggled to keep breathing as he held still.

The pain was more than Jensen anticipated, if only because he’d been so caught up in the pleasure. Jared was big, surely bigger than three fingers could have prepared him for, and Jensen squeezed his eyes closed as he forced himself to take deep breaths and relax. He knew it was just for now, just until he adjusted to the stretch, and he slowly curled his fingers over Jared’s shoulders.

“How’s it feel?” he asked in a soft whisper, mesmerized by the pleasure on Jared’s face.

Jared shivered, lashes fluttering closed at the sound of Jensen’s voice.

“Perfect; hot; so good, Jensen.” Blinking slowly, Jared leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Jensen’s lips. “Are you…? Are you- _ohgod_ \- okay?” Jared was panting, struggling to resist moving against the sweet body beneath him. Slipping his hand up, he cupped Jensen’s cheek and smiled softly. “How does it feel?”

Jensen could listen to Jared’s barely-gasped, breathy words all night, just to know he was making the taller boy feel like that.

“Different,” he murmured, tilting into Jared’s touch. “Full, really full, and kind of...” Jensen swallowed and opened his eyes once more, meeting Jared’s lust-dark gaze. “It’s amazing, because it’s you and me, connected, or-- I don’t know. I’m not making sense.” Jensen cut off with a gasp as Jared shifted, relieved that the sting was fading.

“Jensen, I gotta-” Moaning, Jared sank down onto the smaller boy’s body and rocked his hips forward. His cock was completely enveloped by the sweetest heat and clench of Jensen’s body. Trembling, Jared kissed and licked at Jensen’s neck, his collarbone, then arched his entire body up and back to thrust in deeper and watch his _lover’s_ face.

“Oh, god, Jared,” Jensen groaned, as the bigger boy slowly pulled back and thrust forward once more, clearly waiting to make sure the burn had faded for Jensen. It had. Jensen almost couldn’t believe he’d felt it at all, because this felt _amazing_. His arms slid around Jared’s back, nails digging into his skin as he pulled his legs up higher and Jared’s thrust sent him deeper. “Oh, fuck me,” Jensen gasped, not even aware of forming the words outside the primal urge to beg for more.

“Jesus,” Jared hissed. His entire body jerked at the words, heat blazing through him in waves. Grasping the back of Jensen’s thigh, Jared thrust hard into his lover. Rocking his hips, he felt ever single inch of the slide in and out of Jensen’s body. It was like riding a wave of pleasure, thrusting in was like a shock of lust and desire, withdrawing was the sweetest sensation of loss. Moaning louder, Jared shuddered and pushed hard against Jensen’s thigh so he could lean down again and kissed him.

Just as their lips met, Jared’s hips snapped forward and slammed right into that spot in Jensen he’d only ever read about before. Thankfully, Jared’s mouth swallowed up his too loud moan as he rocked hard back against Jared and his skin prickled with the sensation. When Jared’s hips moved again, thrusting right back against that delicious spot, Jensen nearly arched completely off the bed. His nails were digging scratches down Jared’s back and he sucked hard on his lover’s tongue, desperate for every inch of sensation.

Everything was blurred and spinning, and Jared’s release was already _too_ close. It was so much _more_ than he’d thought it would be; Jensen was amazing. He was writhing under Jared, his spine twisting to press up against him, and the muscles in his ass clenched tight around Jared’s cock. Thrusting hard and fast, Jared felt him arms grow weaker as pleasure just wrapped tight around him. “Jensen,” he moaned. “Look at me.”

Jensen forced his eyes open, instantly locking on Jared’s hazel gaze fixed down on him.

“Close,” he half whispered, half moaned, as Jared thrust hard into him over and over. He didn’t get how something could be too much and not enough all at once but he knew he wasn’t going to last if Jared kept fucking into him so hard. His hands clasped on either side of Jared’s jaw and he kept his gaze locked with his lover’s, mouth open with his pants.

Jensen’s eyes were dark, soft and sparkling and Jared lost himself a little in them. Sighing out a half moan, he snapped his hips forward again and again, watching the pleasure work its way through Jensen’s body. His orgasm caught him off-guard; he’d been teetering there on the peak for too long, and a long moan from Jensen, the pain of nails in his back, sent Jared spiraling out of control. Slamming hard into his lover’s body, he fell forward to crush his lips against Jensen’s as his body jerked and twisted with pleasure.

When Jensen came, it was with Jared pressing him down and tasting every inch of the inside of his mouth. His entire body was shaking, his legs feeling weak but sparking. Jensen wanted to feel this forever; just live in this post-orgasmic bliss with Jared slumped on his body. He pulled from the kiss when the need to breathe became too intense and he pressed his lips to Jared’s skin instead, over his cheek, on the tip of his nose, just as Jared had done before.

“Amazing,” he whispered, smile dancing on his lips.

“God, I love you,” Jared breathed. Slipping from inside his lover, he fell forward and lay across Jensen, one hand moving up the shorter boy’s chest to caress his cheek. “You’re okay?”

“More than,” Jensen whispered. His heart was fluttering again but for a completely different reason now. He looked over at Jared with a soft smile, eyes half closed. “You really love me?”

Jared pressed his finger to Jensen’s lips.

“Don’t tell me it’s too soon, or I’m crazy. Just let me...” Ducking his head down, he kissed Jensen’s shoulder and pulled him closer.

“Hey, come on, you know I wouldn’t say that.” Jensen chuckled softly and pressed as close to Jared as he could. “I was just going to say I love you too. I was gonna say it before, when you told me to look at you, but I was worried it would be too much.”

Smiling, Jared nestled closer, wondering if he would ever get close _enough_. “Jensen?”

“Hmm?” Jensen hummed softly, stroking his hand up through Jared’s hair.

“Did you mean it before?” Jared’s voice was soft, his lips moving against Jensen’s shoulder. Tucking his knees up under Jensen’s, he was almost wrapped around the smaller boy. “When you asked me to take you away?”

It was amazing how Jensen knew the answer immediately, how he didn’t even have to consider what it would mean if it really happened.

“Yes,” he whispered, biting hard on his lip to keep from creating some grand idea of Jared driving off with him into the sunset. “You gonna?”

Pushing up onto his elbow, Jared tilted his head and gazed down at Jensen. “Come with me; come with me tomorrow. Let’s... let’s just go somewhere else. I have no reason to stay here without you, and if you’ll come with me...” Jared sucked in a breath and held it, thumb brushing over Jensen’s cheek. “If you come with me, I can take care of you. It’ll be just us; I have some money put aside. Come with me.”

At first, Jensen wanted to laugh because, no way, Jared couldn’t be serious. Only the longer he looked into Jared’s eyes, the more he realized he was _completely_ serious.

“Really?” he finally asked, a nervous smile on his lips. “Where would we go? Where could we have a life together?”

“Really. I don’t want this anymore - all the fighting - and… And Josh. It’s not safe for you to stay here, you said so yourself.” Lowering his voice again, Jared snaked his arm over Jensen’s chest. “You said you were mine; come with me. You said you could borrow the car; it would be hours before they’d be looking for us and we’d be long gone.”

Jared suddenly felt as though there was _nothing_ that they couldn’t do together. And he _needed_ to take care of Jensen, keep him close.

An excited thrill was building in Jensen at just the idea of never having to be without Jared and his smile grew, his head dipping down in a nod.

“Okay. Yeah, let’s do it. I have money saved up in my savings account; I can withdraw it tomorrow. And we’ll just pick a direction and start going. You can drive, right?” Jensen laughed, halfway tempted to roll out of bed and start packing. If his legs could hold him up, that was.

“You’ll come? You’re really- I want this so much, Jensen.” Jared laughed and buried his face in the pillow to be quieter. When he looked back up, Jensen’s face was bright. “God... this is... yeah.” Heart racing again, Jared lay down and pressed to Jensen’s side.

“It’s the best thing ever. Just you and me.” Jensen squeezed Jared tightly, pressing forward to capture Jared’s lips in another lingering kiss. “Come tomorrow evening with your things. I’ll tell my mom I’m going to the orchestra concert thing; there’s one every Saturday, and they want me to be part of it. Anyway, she’ll love that, and it’ll be a good excuse for the car. Plus, they won’t notice I’m missing until the next morning; plenty of time.” Jensen grinned at Jared then bumped their noses together, laughing. “God, how are you so amazing?”

Jared couldn’t help the dopey grin that was on his face. Nuzzling Jensen’s cheek, he curled his fingers around the other boy’s neck and held him tightly. “It’ll be perfect; we can just start over. Just _us_.”

Exhaustion was creeping up on Jared, and he nestled down beside Jensen and tugged the blankets up over both of them.

“Just us,” Jensen echoed, and closed his eyes, settling against Jared’s body. Nothing could ever sound better than that.

The early morning light was pouring in the patio doors when Jared awoke. His face creased in confusion for only a moment as he took in his surroundings.

Jensen moaned softly in his sleep and nestled closer to Jared.

The night came flooding back to Jared and he smiled sleepily. Jensen’s face was relaxed, a slight smile on his handsome features, hand flat against Jared’s chest.

It was the day that would change everything.

Jared slid his arm under Jensen’s neck and pulled him closer. He smiled when Jensen’s arm snaked over his waist, and then he buried his nose in the crook of Jared’s shoulder. Kissing the top of Jensen’s head, Jared sighed; he really needed to leave before the entire household was awake. There were things that Jared had to do at home -- deciding what to take with him.

“God,” he whispered against Jensen’s hair. His heart fluttered with pleasure. They were _really_ going to be together. “Jen?” Slipping down a little, Jared kissed his way down the bridge of Jensen’s nose ‘til he reached the tip.

“Mm, shh,” Jensen hummed quietly, refusing to open his eyes and leave the happy little bubble of warmth he had at the moment. “Havin’ good dream; go back to sleep.” He was only dimly aware of Jared kissing him, and even then, he was fairly sure it was a dream, the best kind of dream.

“Wake up, sleepyhead. It’s a big day, remember?” Nudging Jensen’s check with his nose, Jared managed to get the boy to lift his head so he could press their lips together.

Jensen recalled the night before, their promise to each other to leave, to start over brand new somewhere else, and his eyes opened. He pressed into the kiss for a moment then pulled back, blinking up at Jared. “You still want to? You didn’t change your mind, right?”

Laughing softly, Jared kissed Jensen’s cheek. “Are you crazy? I’m taking you away. I’d never change my mind about that.” Ducking down further, Jared whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jensen whispered back, grinning so big it hurt. He didn’t want Jared to go but he knew they had to pack things up and prepare for their journey; it was going to be a long day, but so worth it in the end. “So I’ll meet you tonight? About seven?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna pack and hide my bag outside. Then when everyone’s eating, I’m gonna sneak out and walk over here. I’ll meet you just outside the gate. Seven. Wow.” Jared leaned in to kiss his way along Jensen’s grin. It had been a long time since he’d felt so certain about anything.

Jensen caught Jared’s lips against his own, kissing him deeply for a long moment. His arms wrapped around Jared, holding him there as their tongues met and slid together. When he pulled back, he was breathless and his heart was racing. “It’s going to be good, right? We’ll make it work?”

“It’s going to be _amazing_.” Jared rolled slightly and pulled Jensen across his chest so he could slip one hand into the boy’s blondish hair and the other over his waist. “We’ll save up and buy a piano and I’ll lie under it and listen. Did you know that Chopin’s girlfriend did that?” Jared was sure he could feel both their hearts racing.

Laughing softly, Jensen nodded and dipped down, kissing Jared tenderly.

“I did. It will be perfect. What will you do? What do you want to do?” Sometimes it was unreal to think how little he knew about Jared when it felt like he’d known him forever.

Laughing, Jared squeezed Jensen tighter, his eyes widening at the spark of heat that zipped through his body.

“I’ll write or something, work at a library. I don’t care, as long as I’m with you. And I’ll lie on the floor and listen to you play.” Shifting his hips slightly, Jared could feel he was growing hard again and groaned. “And we’ll have sex wherever we want to; as often as possible. And we’ll make dinner naked.”

Jensen laughed, trailing off with a soft moan as he slid to the side and rocked his body against Jared’s.

“Wish we could go right now,” he whispered against Jared’s lips.

“It’s gonna be great. It’ll be worth waiting for.” There was nothing Jared would rather do than spend the day exploring Jensen’s body, but they had a whole lifetime ahead of them. “I’d better go before everyone is awake.” Closing his eyes, Jared breathed in the warm scent of their bodies.

“I know,” Jensen whispered, though his arms tightened around Jared to keep him in place. “I’m gonna miss you today.” Jensen laughed softly, wondering if he sounded strange for already missing Jared. “I’ll think of you the whole time.”

“Has anyone ever told you, you’re kinda sappy?” Jared nipped at Jensen’s bottom lip then swept his tongue over it. “And all sorts of perfect.”

“Well, I know I’m perfect, but the sappy thing? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jensen laughed, his hands curling over Jared’s hips. “I should probably move off you, huh?”

Jared nodded slowly.

“‘Cause I’m not _ever_ gonna be able to push you away.” His lips were on Jensen’s forehead, his cheeks and then his lips again.

“And of course I’m so keen on the idea of moving away.” Jensen sighed heavily then flopped to the side, already missing the warmth of Jared’s body. “Go, before I just chain you to the bed.” He smirked over at Jared, stroking fingers over Jared’s wrist.

Grinning, Jared crawled over Jensen’s body very slowly. He made sure that every part of him glided over Jensen, then he pressed the shorter boy down hard into the mattress for a last, sweet kiss before rolling away. It was hard to leave Jensen, but _so_ worth it to know that it was only hours until they could be together without worrying about a thing.

Jensen watched through half-open eyes as Jared dressed, wishing he could pull the taller boy back into bed with him. He slid to the edge of the mattress and stood, stepping toward Jared as he tugged his shirt on.

“Be careful,” he murmured, fingers curling over Jared’s shirt and tugging him in for another soft kiss.

Humming softly against Jensen’s mouth, Jared pulled him into a quick hug.

“Of course I’ll be careful. I gotta come and take you away, right?” Flipping his hair back off his face, Jared laughed softly and walked back a few steps toward the balcony door. “Don’t leave without me tonight.” Heart racing, he turned to pull the door open and froze there. Turning quickly, Jared closed the distance between them again and grabbed a handful of Jensen’s hair as he crushed their mouths together.

Jensen slumped against Jared, kissing him deeply and holding him there. He wanted to climb up Jared’s body and never let him go. When Jared pulled back just barely, Jensen gasped.

“I wouldn’t leave without you. I promise to wait even if you’re a little late.” He smiled and pressed into the kiss once more.

“I won’t be late.” Jared pulled back reluctantly and headed back toward the door. “See you tonight,” he said softly. Slipping out the door, Jared grinned. A silent countdown started in his head until he could see Jensen again.

Slowly crossing the room, Jensen pulled the curtain back slightly to watch Jared run across the yard. He was smiling uncertainly, worried that something might happen to keep them from their plans. Jensen had to believe, though, that this was real, because it was everything he ever wanted.

When Jared disappeared from view, Jensen turned back to his room. He had no idea where to even begin picking out the things he wanted to take with him, especially considering he had over two hundred books. Jensen didn’t care; he could sacrifice some books as long as he got to be with Jared.


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn’t difficult for Jared to pick out what he wanted to take with him. Leaving with Jensen was the best decision that Jared had ever made; they were going to have a great life together. When it came right down to it, there wasn’t all that much he needed from his room, the house, anywhere - he wanted to just start over. His life with Jensen would be new and fresh, exciting and full of memories they could make together.

Duffel bag open on the bed, Jared had sorted through his clothes and picked out his favorite t-shirts, a good sweater, all his best jeans. It was strange going through his clothes and wondering what might be good to wear in winter, in spring. He would be passing the seasons with Jensen, and that made his heart start flipping around in his chest all over again.

When his bag was packed, Jared made a quick trip to the bank and withdrew all of his savings. His pulse quickened as he folded the money and zippered it into his satchel. It wasn’t enough to survive forever, but it made everything feel final; he was really going to do it. There was a grin on his face as he strode back toward his house.

Jensen had walked down the street to the bank that his savings account was in, and he was shaking the entire time. On his sixteenth birthday, his parents had given him the account, and though they still had the ability to check it at times, they hadn’t in months. So he headed into the bank and requested to withdraw the entire account.

The teller had given him a strange look - because yeah, it was nearly $1,500 and that was a lot for a sixteen-year-old boy to take out - but he’d quickly told her it was for his applications for school and she’d grinned and wished him good look before handing over the money in cash. Maybe the money wouldn’t get them that far, but it would get them away from here and that was all that mattered.

Things at home were different. He told his mom about the orchestra event he wanted to attend that evening and she didn’t even hesitate to hand the keys over. Jensen maybe felt a little guilty at that but he could get over it. Especially when he went to take a shower and caught sight of the mark on his hip. He was Jared’s now; it didn’t matter what his family thought about him anymore.

Jensen picked out some of his older books, first editions that would be worth something if they needed the money. It would hurt to part with them but he believed that Jared and he would make a good life and maybe he’d buy them back one day. If not, he didn’t really need to lose himself in books anymore, anyway.

As Jensen packed his clothes, picking the widest variety he could, he palms were sweating and his heart was racing but he couldn’t get the grin off his face. He couldn’t wait until seven, until he could see Jared again, just to have the chance to be happy all the time and to make his own choices. This was going to be good; he knew it, as long as he and Jared were together.

Jared let his mom know earlier in the day that he would be out for dinner. She didn’t seem too concerned; in fact, Jared wasn’t even sure that she had been listening. Only the slightest twinge of sadness nipped at him as he threw his duffel bag over his shoulder and headed down the stairs. He took a lingering look at the house as he stood at the end of the sidewalk then turned and walked straight into Jeff’s solid body.

“Where ya goin’, Jay?” Jeff’s voice was soft, a low rumble.

Glancing up at Jeff, Jared felt his mouth go dust-dry. A smile flitted across his lips and he ducked his head down. He’d never been able to lie to Jeff. “I’m... there’s this friend of mine - he’s having a party and I thought I might stay over there tonight.”

When Jeff didn’t say anything, Jared finally had to give in and look up. Jeff didn’t look angry; he looked a little sad.

“Chad has this crazy idea that you might have a thing for a guy. And, somehow, he’s got it in his head that it might be Josh’s little brother.” Jeff shrugged. “I told him that I was pretty sure that you and I were tight; that if you felt something like that, you’d tell me.”

Jared nodded, brows drawing together as he dropped his gaze again. _Fucking_ Chad. Chad never figured things out but he _had_ to figure _this_ out.

“It’s complicated,” Jared murmured.

“Complicated how? You mean more than having a thing for an Ackles?” Jeff cocked an eyebrow.

“I... Yeah. Jeff?” Jared glanced up and still saw only hurt on his brother’s face.

Jeff pulled Jared’s duffel off his little brother’s shoulder and threw it over his own. “Talk while we walk.”

Nodding, Jared stuffed his hands in his pockets. “So. For once, Chad is mostly right.”

Jared was pretty sure his blood pressure was going through the roof. When he glanced over, Jeff just nodded and kept his eyes on the road ahead of them.

Taking a deep breath, Jared blinked a few times. He could do it. “Jeff, I - when we went to the party, I didn’t lie. I mean, I thought I wanted to meet Mackenzie but… it was all wrong. I met Jensen and yeah, he is Josh’s little brother. But he’s nothing like him.” Jared’s eyes snapped over to his brother but Jeff’s expression hadn’t changed.

Pressing his lips together for a moment, Jared planned out what he was going to say.

“Jensen and I- it’s special, Jeff. It feels right and… perfect. It’s perfect. And I know you’ll say I’m too young and crazy but I want to be with him. We’re gonna-”

Jeff’s hand snapped out and grabbed Jared’s shoulder in a soft squeeze. “Probably better if I don’t know. Official like, y’know?”

Jared’s eyes widened and he looked up at his brother. “Jeff, I-”

“Really, Jared. I think- I think I get it. You know, kid, I’ve watched you grow up over these past few years. You don’t fit in here; don’t think ya ever did, really.” Jeff shrugged a shoulder and tugged Jared’s bag back up higher.

The sting of tears in his eyes surprised Jared a little. Jeff had always been overprotective but maybe there had been a reason after all. “Can I email you? You know... if I don’t see you later?”

Nodding, Jeff shifted the bag to his other shoulder and threw his arm around his little brother. “I think that’s a fuckin’ good idea, Jare.”

“Ah, the Padaqueers being as gay as ever. Don’t you have a bedroom for your sick relationship?” Josh threw a rock toward them, rising from the steps of the community building he’d been sitting on. “Some of us don’t want to see the fags going at it.”

Jared felt Jeff’s muscles tighten then he dropped his arm and stepped slightly in front of his little brother. “Josh, not now. Aren’t you getting tired of doing the same shit over and over? Let it go, man.”

Wide-eyed and shaking, Jared grabbed his duffel bag when Jeff let it slide off his shoulder and set it down behind him. “Jeff? Let’s just go.”

“Let it go? You’re pretty fuckin’ good at that, aren’t you, Padalecki? Dropping something worthwhile because you’re a fuckin’ _better man_.” Josh spat at Jeff’s feet and stepped toward him, eyes narrowed in a glare. “You’re a fuckin’ jackass.”

“Josh.” Jeff’s eyes were blazing with anger. “Do _not_ do this here or now. You do _not_ want to have this out with me.” Squaring his shoulders, Jeff clenched his hands into fists.

The blood was rushing in Jared’s ears and his eyes moved from Josh’s anger-red face to Christian’s. The tension was far thicker that he’d ever seen in the past. Stepping up beside his brother, Jared pushed up his sleeves.

Josh’s gaze shot over to Jared and he laughed, shaking his head. “You actually think you and your fag brother could really take on Chris and me?” Josh slid over so he stood before Jared and glared at him, voice dropping to a low hiss. “Let me ask you, _Jared_ : did you fuck my brother, or do you prefer it up the ass?”

Jared’s blood ran cold and thick in his veins. “Don’t talk about Jensen like that.”

His yell ricocheted around them and Josh frowned and looked around them in confusion.

Jeff’s fist shot out lightning-fast and connected hard with Josh’s jaw; he crumpled to the ground and Jeff was on him in the blink of an eye.

As soon as Christian stepped toward them, Jared laughed himself at the man. He might be stronger than Jared, but he was surprised when Jared got involved, and he stumbled back under the boy’s weight.

The screech of sirens was enough to have Josh and Christian stumbling back and breaking free and looking toward the call of, “Freeze.”

“God damnit, boys, how many times do we have to do this?” Officer Morgan sighed heavily and grabbed Jared’s arm, tugging him up off the ground. “Can’t you lot stay on opposite sides of this town? It’s big enough. Now, who wants to tell me what happened?”

Jared climbed back up to his feet, rubbing at the shredded material on the front of his shirt. “We were just walking. I was going to meet - someone-”

“And this _asshole_...” Jeff gestured at Josh, “felt the need to start in on my little brother.”

“I’m just looking for my own brother.” Josh looked toward Officer Morgan, his expression schooling over to something innocent. “They were calling my brother gay; I was just defending his honor. Besides, Jeff punched me first.”

Officer Morgan frowned like he wasn’t sure he believed and he looked toward Jeff. “Did you hit him first?”

Jared shoved Jeff out of the way. “Josh, don’t do this. You know that’s not what happene-”

Jared launched himself at Josh and grabbed two handfuls of the older boy’s shirt. They scuffled for a few moments until Morgan stepped in and yanked Jared away by the back of his shirt. Jeff tugged on his brother’s arm.

“It was me, Morgan! I threw the first punch this time.” He spat the words out, still trying to pull Jared away from the officer.

Sighing, Officer Morgan shook his head and stepped back. “Sorry, boys, I’ve got no choice but to take you in. Josh, Chris, you two go on home and steer clear of each other now, you got it? Jared and Jeff, I don’t want to use cuffs, so don’t make me; get on in.”

Jared darted forward again and snatched at Josh’s shirt. His fingers gripped the boy’s collar tightly. “You tell Jensen what happened. Tell him! He’s gonna be waiting for me.”

“Get off me, fag,” Josh whispered and pushed Jared back, sneering at him.

“Alright, that’s enough; come on, Jared.” Officer Morgan held the back door open, gesturing for Jared to climb in beside his brother.

Jeff caught Jared’s shoulders and shoved him toward the car. “Jeff, I gotta tell Jensen. Josh!” Jared reached out over his brother’s shoulder but there was no way he was getting past Jeff. “Josh, _tell_ him. Please, Josh. Just tell him where I am.”

“Jared, calm the fuck down; we’re in enough trouble already.” Shoving roughly, Jeff pushed Jared into the back seat of the cruiser.

Swearing, Jared kicked hard at the back of Morgan’s seat.

“You guys go home now.” Officer Morgan glared at Josh and Chris before turning and shutting the door, heading around the driver’s side. “I’m sorry, boys, but I warned you,” he said over his shoulder, turning the sirens off the car.

“This is _shit_ -”

“Jared!” Jeff smacked Jared back against the seat.

“I _need_ to get to Jensen. You don’t understand.” Jared kicked at the seat again, tears of frustration welling in his eyes. “I promised.”

“I’m sure Jensen will understand, Jared. You can apologize tomorrow or later, whenever your parents bail you out,” Officer Morgan spoke as he drove, taking them further away from the Ackles’ neighborhood.

“No, he won’t know what happened. Please, Officer Morgan-” Jared’s fingers curled into the grating that separated them as the car headed down the road. “I’ll do anything, please.”

“Jared, calm down.” Jeff’s voice was softer and his hand pressed against his little brother’s chest to make him settle back on the seat. Leaning closer, Jeff whispered, “Gettin’ all worked up ain’t gonna do any good.”

Wiping at the tears on his cheeks, Jared looked down and folded his arms tightly across his chest.

“Don’t worry, son; I know when you’re young everything feels like it’s the end of the world but trust me, in a few years, none of this stuff is going to matter.” Officer Morgan laughed softly, shaking his head. “If you two could just quite pickin’ fights with that Ackles boy.”

Shaking his head, Jared leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window. Everything was ruined and Jensen would be sitting there waiting for him in a couple of hours and he wouldn’t be there. Heart-aching, Jared felt the heat of fresh tears on his cheeks.

At seven, Jensen was parked just outside the gate and out of the line of sight of the house, and the excitement shooting through him was enough to make his palms sweat all over again.

He had hugged his parents goodbye and they had given him weird looks but didn’t say anything about it, not even when he hugged Mackenzie as well, which he nearly never did. He had no idea where Josh was but it didn’t matter; he had no desire to say goodbye to his brother.

At seven-fifteen, Jensen’s smile dimmed slightly. Jared would be there, Jensen was sure of it. He probably just had some trouble getting away; maybe he’d wanted to have a last dinner with his family. Jensen wasn’t completely sure how close Jared was to his family. Maybe in a few years they’d come back and visit, when there was nothing they could do to keep them there any longer.

Sometime around seven-forty-five, Jensen got out of the car and stood, looking toward where he was sure Jared lived. Of course he couldn’t see the other boy’s house from here or anything, but the street lights would illuminate him plenty, he was sure. He couldn’t see any figure - in any direction - and his smile completely faded, a frown taking its place. But he told Jared he would wait. Maybe his parents were keeping him later, making him do dishes or something. Jared would be there; he had to be.

It wasn’t until half-past eight that Jensen let himself entertain the notion of Jared not coming. What would that mean? He was certain they had said seven; had Jensen gotten the time wrong? There had to be a reason Jared was an hour and a half late, because Jared loved him and he wouldn’t just abandon him.

Around nine, Jensen heard laughter and he straightened up from the place he was leaning on the car. He was telling himself not to panic, that Jared would be there, and when he saw the first figure, his lips automatically lifted into a smile. It fell a moment later, though, when another figure stepped into the light, and a third a moment later.

Jensen knew the next laugh; it belonged to his brother. Everything in him tensed and he stepped toward the driver’s door, considering leaving before Josh and his friends could get there. Only he’d told Jared he would wait, and even if two hours had passed, Jensen wasn’t giving up.

“Hey, Jenny,” Josh called as they got close enough, his steps slowing.

On either side of Josh stood Christian and Mike, and Jensen looked at both before settling his gaze on his brother.

“Hey,” he said quietly, hoping Josh just walked past him and not stop to ask questions.

But his brother did stop, a smirk on his lips. “Ran into your butt-buddy a little while ago.”

Jensen could feel the rush of color draining from his cheeks as he stared wide-eyed at Josh. Clearing his throat, he shrugged and slid his arms across his chest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No? You don’t know Jared?” Josh’s smirk intensified, and in the street lamp, his eyes were glinting almost evilly. “Because he sure as hell knew you.”

Swallowing thickly, Jensen tried not to let the uncertainty and fear show on his face. “What are you talking about, Josh?”

“Oh, yeah, he was shooting his mouth off about how easily you spread for him. Said you were the easiest lay he’s ever had. Apparently, all he had to do was pretend you had some special connection.” Josh stepped toward him, fake sympathy painting his face. “Come on, Jenny, did you really think you were different? You think he doesn’t say that to every boy he fucks?”

Tears were welling in Jensen’s eyes and he stepped back, his arms dropping to his sides as he shook his head. “No. You’re lying. Jared wouldn’t say that. We- I’m different. He loves me.”

“Hey, man, I’m just telling you what I heard,” Josh shrugged, looking over his shoulder. “We heard him, huh, Chris?”

“Josh, come on,” Christian said quietly, frowning at them.

“ _Didn’t we_?” Josh spat, his words a harsh hiss.

“Yeah, yeah, we heard him,” Christian mumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Jensen couldn’t see through the tears anymore; he felt their burn down his cheeks and he blinked rapidly, struggling to catch his breath. “But- but we... I thought, and we were gonna- he said he loves me.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you spread ‘em too easily, Jenny.” Josh shrugged and stepped away, turning back to his friends. “’Course, Jared would have to be a fuckin’ idiot to actually get involved with you. Who wants a whiny bitch, even if he’s got a tight ass?”

Josh’s words were the final blow and a sob caught in Jensen’s throat. He turned away from the boys, slumping against the car to hold up his weight. This couldn’t be true; Jared had seemed so genuine, and Jensen had really thought he cared. But it was nine o’clock; where else could he be? Was this really just some conquest?

“God, just think,” Josh continued, though Jensen wasn’t sure he could take anymore. “How much of a prize must you have been? Now he can brag to his brother and his friends about how he fucked an Ackles. They probably thought it would really get to me, maybe throw me off my game come Friday. Guess they didn’t know I was already aware of what a sick fuck you are.”

“Josh, seriously,” Mike hissed quietly, leaving Josh’s side and walking over to Jensen. “You okay, kid?”

Jensen couldn’t even begin to process the idea of _talking_. Josh’s words were like continual stabs at his heart and Jensen wasn’t sure how he hadn’t completely fallen apart yet. Mike gently laid a hand on his arm and the sob broke free of Jensen, loud and painful, echoing in the street.

“Man, whatever. I’m not sticking around for this train-wreck. You coming, Mike?” Josh was already walking, heading past their house and down the street. He didn’t wait for Mike to answer but the hand remained on Jensen’s arm and Mike didn’t move.

“Jensen,” Mike said softly, stepping in a little closer. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“Did- did he-?” Jensen sucked in shaky breaths, turning from the car and facing Mike. “Did he really say...?”

“I wasn’t there.” Mike guessed what Jensen was trying to say and he pulled Jensen into a hug, wrapping arms tightly around him. “I’m sorry, though, about how Josh was acting. You don’t deserve that.”

Jensen hadn’t really ever had a problem with his sexuality before, but for the first time, he felt like Josh had been telling the truth. Maybe he really was a _sick fuck_ , maybe he deserved to feel like his heart was ripped from his chest because he’d been so eager to have it all with Jared he’d simply given everything away.

Still, Jensen was having trouble believing that Jared could say such horrible things. How could he just pretend to feel everything that they had shared? Maybe Jensen had just pushed too much, asked for too much, maybe he’d been bad the night before and Jared just couldn’t think of a good way to tell him.

“Come on; let’s go inside.” Mike pulled back and smiled softly at Jensen. “Is there a reason you were waiting out here?”

Jensen sniffed and looked back at the car, peering into the back seat where he’d piled some of his stuff. _God_ , had he really been so stupid? Was Jared off with his friends right now laughing because two hours had passed and Jensen was still outside waiting for him? He opened his mouth again, trying to speak, but he couldn’t get the words out.

“Were you waiting for him?” Mike asked quietly, sighing when Jensen nodded. “Let’s just go in; we’ll watch a movie or something.”

No part of Jensen wanted to watch a movie or hang out with Mike like his heart wasn’t breaking, like every part of him didn’t feel like he was dying. It didn’t even make sense; Jensen barely knew him, but he couldn’t imagine how anything could ever hurt like this again. Jensen didn’t even want to imagine his life without Jared and now he had no choice.

So he just let Mike drive the car back up the driveway and lead him inside. When he simply curled in a ball on his bed under his blankets, Mike just went with it, laying down beside Jensen and asking if he could do anything. Jensen’s pillow still smelled like Jared and the next sob that fell from him was more painful than before.

Jared was frantic when he was first shoved into the holding cell with Jeff. He kicked and swore, rattled on the bars and made a real ass of himself. Short of irritating Jeff, it didn’t accomplish much. There was a clock on the wall across from the cell and as Jared watched it tick past seven, past eight, past nine, his heart broke a little more each time. He knew that Jensen wouldn’t believe what had happened and he _knew_ that Josh wouldn’t tell his brother that Jared _couldn’t_ come.

By the time their father showed up to pick them up, Jared was silent, sullen and sitting in the corner of the cell. Jeff had tried speaking to him but Jared wasn’t interested. He just wanted to get out of there and as soon as he could; he was going to try and get to Jensen, try and make things better.

The clunk of the cell door opening got his attention and he grabbed the hand that Jeff held out to pull him up. Trailing along behind Jeff, he wound through the halls of the station. It was busy with evening arrests and the bustle of the nightshift, and Jared’s stomach twisted when he realized how long it had been.

If Jared wasn’t already sick to his stomach, the look on his father’s face would have done it.

“Jeff, Jared. Home, now.” Gerald’s voice was quiet and he had that _unreadable_ expression that meant he was furious but wasn’t going to show it in public.

The weight of Jeff’s arm settled over Jared’s shoulders again and he let himself be pulled outside into the cool evening air.

“Get in the car,” was all their father said.

Pulling the door open, Jeff sighed and grimaced at Jared.

“This is gonna suck,” he whispered.

“Be quiet! And get in the car.” Their father’s words were ice cold and Jared scurried into the back seat, sliding across to leave room for Jeff.

After the engine rumbled to life, the ride was silent. Jared glanced over at Jeff, who shrugged, then he looked back out the window. The street numbers were going down; they were going to pass near Jensen’s house as they headed home. Sitting up straighter, Jared pushed his hair back out of his eyes and looked around carefully. If they stopped at a traffic light, a stop sign, anything, he could get out and run.

It didn’t take long for luck to favor Jared. Gerald pulled up to and intersection and as soon as the car was slowing down, Jared snatched at the handle and shoved the door open. The moment his feet hit the ground, he was running, not even bothering to slam the door shut behind him. Darting down a nearby alley, he ran as fast as he could, the cool air a bit of a shock to his lungs.

When he emerged from the other end of the alley, he skidded to a halt and looked around to get his bearings. About four blocks to Jensen’s. Heading off at a full run, Jared just focused on getting there. He had no idea what would have happened and he could feel panic nipping at his heels. What if Jensen had changed his mind? What if he had gone on without him? What if Josh had interfered? There were so many unknowns, and Jared’s heart was pounding.

When he finally saw the Ackles’ house, he sped up. Feet pounding the sidewalk, he could feel his eyes watering and his lungs aching.

Skidding to a halt at the door, Jared pounding on it with his fist.

Josh tugged the door open, already hissing words. “Jesus Christ, what the-”

“Jensen! Jensen, come downstairs - it’s me! It’s Jared!” Jared yelled as loud as he could and launched himself toward Josh. He knew he’d never get past Josh, he was so much stockier, but he could shove him back a few steps. “Jensen!” Jared could feel tears of frustration on his cheeks again as he struggled and punched at Josh.

“Dude, what the fuck? Get the fuck out of my house!” Josh shoved at Jared, struggling against Jared’s own shove back.

Jensen had been in some sort of zombie state, unable to sleep but free of the tears that had wracked his body for what felt like years. When he’d heard Jared’s call, he thought he was imagining things. But another yell of his name had him rolling off the edge of the bed and rushing out of the room, hurrying down the hall to the stairs.

“Jared?” he asked in something close to shock, his eyes widening.

Jared’s voice hitched in his chest when he saw Jensen on the staircase. “Jensen! I love you - I couldn’t get here - my brother and Josh! _Shit_.” Jared shoved hard at Josh’s chest and kicked out at his legs. “Let me in; I need to-”

But Josh shoved him hard back toward the door and Jared was running out of energy. Panting, tears streaming down his cheeks, he swung at Josh’s face and connected slightly with his jaw.

Using the distraction as Josh’s head whipped to the side, Jared dove over his arm. “Jensen - it wasn’t me. I was coming here and we got picked up for fighting. Josh lied about everythin- Jensen!”

Josh’s meaty hands snatched at the back of Jared’s shirt and he lost his footing. Shoes scrabbling uselessly on the hardwood, Jared’s arms flailed out and he tried to grab something... anything. Catching the doorframe for a moment, he managed to meet Jensen’s gaze for an instant.

“The picnic! I’ll wait!” And Josh dragged him roughly over the threshold and dropped him on the concrete.

“Josh, let him go!” Jensen yelled, hurrying down the stairs. But Josh was already yelling Christian’s name over his shoulder and a moment later, Christian’s arm hooked around his middle, dragging him back and away from the front door. “Jared!” he called out, his heart racing and tears once more falling from his eyes. “Let go of me, asshole!” Jensen struggled in Christian’s arms as the boy pulled him back into the living room.

Josh slammed the front door and glared at Jared, stepping forward to kick at his legs. “Get the fuck out of here, faggot, before I call the cops and get you thrown in jail _again_. You’re never touching my brother again. And if you do? I’ll fucking kill you.”

Crying out in pain, Jared rolled away and fell face-first onto the bottom step. He could feel the sting of a scrape down his cheek and blinked up at Josh through his tears.

“He heard me; it doesn’t matter what you do. He heard me say that you lied.” Wiping his eyes with his sleeve, Jared pushed up to his knees and managed to get up onto shaky legs.

“Who fucking cares? You’ll never get to be with him. So do yourself a favor and go find some other sicko to fuck. After I tell our parents about you two, I’m sure they won’t waste any time shipping him off to some correctional camp.” Josh snorted and walked toward Jared. “Now get the hell out of here.”

Taking a few steps backwards, Jared glared at Josh. “He’s your _brother_. Jeff is a thousand times the brother you are. You’re pathetic.”

Jared kept walking backwards, part of him hoping that, somehow, Jensen might make it outside. He knew it wasn’t going to happen, but it was breaking his heart to leave again.

“You don’t even know your brother, Jared, so don’t preach at me. You ask him about all the people he’s broken, and then you’ll see who’s really pathetic.” Josh turned and headed for the front door, pausing before he pushed it open. “Don’t worry; I’ll make sure Jensen knows just how much you made on your bet by coming here again.”

“I hate you,” Jared hissed. The pain that ripped through Jared’s chest felt like it would kill him. Turning away from the house, he paused at the street for a few long moments before wiping at his eyes again and limping up the sidewalk slowly. He’d done everything he could - Josh would always have the last word, the last chance to convince Jensen that everything had been a lie.

There was only one thing Jared could do; he would go home, get his things and go to the place they had their first date. He’d wait all night if he had to.

The commotion that Jared had created had woken the entirety of the house and by the time Josh came back in, his parents were there, demanding to know why some boy was screaming to Jensen that he loved him. Jensen knew what this was, the fallout, the end of his most carefully guarded secret.

“Jensen, talk to us,” his mom demanded, her face tight with confusion.

“Yeah, Jensen, tell Mom what’s been going on.” Josh walked into the room and he was holding a book.

Jensen hadn’t bothered counting the books stashed under his bed because he didn’t think it mattered. He had no way of knowing that Josh had already taken one of the books and was now holding it up to his parents with a barely-concealed triumphant smirk.

“Don’t...” he whispered, biting his lip when his dad’s eyes shot to him.

“Where did you get this, Josh?” his father asked, but his eyes never left Jensen.

“Under Jensen’s bed,” Josh answered, and it looked like he was nearly bouncing with excitement at the idea of getting Jensen in trouble.

“Michael, Christian, it’s time for you boys to go home,” their mom said, and her voice sounded disappointed and sad. “Mack, back in bed.”

“But, Mom,” Mackenzie whined, but a sharp look had her turning and stomping off down the hall.

“Jensen, is there something you need to tell us?” His mom turned her gaze to him and now she didn’t look sad, she looked just like Jensen had feared she would. Disgusted, maybe refusing to believe.

But Jensen had already had his heart broken today and it didn’t seem likely that he was going to be leaving the house any time in the near future, so there wasn’t anything to lose but a little of his own pride. So Jensen squared his shoulders and looked both his parents in the eyes. “I’m gay.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Jensen’s dad swore, as he dropped the book on the ground and shook his head. “This is ridiculous.”

“Jensen, clearly you’re mistaken. You couldn’t possibly be gay.” His mom crossed to him, reaching out to touch his arm. “You’re just confused, baby; we’ll get you some help. Don’t worry.”

“No. I’m not confused; I know who I am. I don’t care if you can’t accept it; I love- I’m in love with Jared and I just-” Jensen sucked in a breath, his confidence failing him at the stern and disgusted look his father was giving him.

“Go to your room, Jensen,” his mom said quietly, turning away from him.

“If you’d just-”

“ _Go_ , Jensen,” she snapped this time, walking over to her husband.

Jensen swallowed thickly and turned, forcing himself forward. Josh was still standing there, smirking like he’d just won the absolute best prize. Jensen wanted to punch him; he’d give anything to just slam his fist hard into Josh’s jaw, just once. Instead, he kept walking, leaving the room and feeling each heavy step.

Then, his eyes landed on the keys on the hall table and his mind reeled. He hadn’t unloaded his things from the car; he could still get away before they could punish him. Glancing over his shoulder, Jensen ensured Josh wasn’t watching him before silently snatching up the keys and stomping his way up the stairs.

He slammed his bedroom door with enough force he was sure his parents would hear and instantly his heart skipped a beat. Jensen was careful not to make any sound as he tiptoed across his room and gathered up the last of his things. Just a little bit further and he could get to Jared.

Jared, who still loved him, who had been stopped by Josh. Jensen had no idea how Josh found out about him unless he had seen Jared leaving that morning. It didn’t matter now, though; Jensen was leaving his home and he was never coming back.

Backpack secured on his shoulders, Jensen silently opened his balcony door and stepped outside. If Jared could climb down it, so could Jensen. Sure, he wasn’t as athletic as some people, but this might literally mean life or death for him. After all, he’d never survive if his parents sent him to some gay camp or something.

He sat on the railing and dropped his leg over, holding his breath before turning and slowly working his way down. He nearly slipped three times and he held his breath until his feet landed on the ground.

Halfway there; he could do this.

The garage was thankfully open and the car was right there, making Jensen’s steps quicken. He couldn’t risk starting it there; his brother would undoubtedly hear and waste no time in alerting his parents.

Throwing his bag in the backseat, Jensen shifted the car into neutral and inhaled deeply, summoning up the rest of his energy to start pushing the car back out of the garage. It was a complicated process and he had to shove with everything in him to get it any distance from the house that he thought would be safe.

Jensen didn’t stop to look at his house one last time. At this point, he couldn’t even summon up the energy to miss his family. His mind was racing with the chant of _Jared, Jared, Jared_.

Finally daring to start the car, Jensen tried not to peel out of the driveway. He was more scared than he’d ever been in his life, his eyes constantly darting to the rearview mirror just in case he was being followed. They wouldn’t be able to keep this car, not with the plates it had now, but Jensen didn’t have time to contemplate what they would do instead.

He didn’t take a deep breath until he had gotten at least ten miles away with no sign of being followed. It was late, the streets mostly deserted; Jensen finally let himself smile. Then he was laughing, shocked, excitement making him go just barely over the speed limit. They were going to do this, and no one would stop them this time.

Jared wasn’t sure how long he’d been at the orchard, waiting. He couldn’t let his mind process what would happen if Jensen didn’t come. When he finally heard a car on the street, he dragged his duffel bag toward the curb. There was a small part of him that hoped it was Jensen, but the rest of his mind was trying to convince him that it wouldn’t happen. If Jensen even believed Jared - Josh had had plenty of time to speak to their parents.

The bag seemed heavier than ever and Jared finally lifted his gaze as he got to the street. It was Jensen’s car. Dropping the bag, Jared ran out into the street and snatched at the handle. Yanking the door open, he sank hard to his knees on the concrete. “Jensen, I couldn’t get to you; we had a fight - Jeff... your brother lied to Morgan and he took us in-”

“Jared, hey, breathe.” Jensen pressed his hand over Jared’s mouth to keep any more words from tumbling out. “I know. I mean, I don’t, I don’t really know what happened or anything, but I know you love me and you wouldn’t do what he said. I-” Jensen inhaled deeply and dropped his hand, smiling softly at Jared. “I just snuck out of my house, climbed down from the balcony and pushed the car out of the garage. I wouldn’t do all that if I didn’t believe that you love me.”

Blinking slowly, Jared curled his fingers in Jensen’s shirt and pulled him closer.

“I tried so hard to get back to you. I thought Jeff was gonna kill me. Morgan was mad, my dad - _God_ \- I just jumped out of the car and ran, and ran...” Gasping in a breath, Jared threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around Jensen. “I thought you’d hate me,” he said shakily.

“No; could never hate you,” Jensen murmured, and wrapped his arms tightly around Jared, squeezing him hard enough it couldn’t feel good. “We have to go.” He pulled back a moment later, his eyes wide. “I don’t know when my parents will go up to my room to check on me, but we can’t risk it. We have to get as far away as we can.”

Pulling back reluctantly, Jared let his hands rest on Jensen’s thigh for a moment.

“I- yeah.” Scrambling back from the car, he closed Jensen’s door and ran around to grab his bag. Yanking the back door open, he slid it in beside Jensen’s and slammed the door again. In moments, he was in the passenger seat and stared at Jensen. “We can really go now?” His heart was aching, fear and exhaustion catching up with him.

“No, not yet.” Jensen turned to Jared, soft smile on his face. “We have to do one thing first.”

Reaching out, Jared hesitated a moment then twined his fingers through Jensen’s. “What?”

Jensen pushed across the seat and pressed his lips hard to Jared’s, hand curving around the back of his head to hold him there as his tongue slid forward. He just had to feel this again, to know that it was real, and to know that they really could be okay.

Jared’s entire body melted into his lover’s, he moaned into the heat of Jensen’s mouth and cinched his arms tight around the other boy’s waist. His knee bumped into the dashboard as he shifted, his cheek stung, and nearly every part of him ached, but he didn’t care. Kissing Jensen again, feeling those lips sliding against his, was worth everything he’d been through.

For a while, Jensen simply kissed him, stroking Jared’s hair softly and keeping him there in that moment. When he did pull back, his fingers brushed over the scrape on Jared’s cheek and he frowned softly. “Did my brother do that to you?”

Shrugging a shoulder, Jared couldn’t get himself to loosen his hold on Jensen. “Doesn’t matter, long as I got you.” Pressing his forehead to Jensen’s, he let out a shaky breath and smiled as he closed his eyes. “I was so scared.”

“I never would have let him hurt you. I would have fought against Christian; I tried to.” Jensen could barely get himself to do more than whisper, his fingers massaging along Jared’s neck.

“No, no,” Jared shook his head. “Not scared of him. I would have let him beat the hell out of me. I was scared of losing you.” Tears welled in Jared eyes again, but he smiled softly, finally moving his arms so he could slide his hands over Jensen’s cheeks. “I love you, Jensen.”

“I love you too, Jared.” Jensen’s words hitched and he pressed forward to kiss Jared again. He clutched at the boy, wishing he could just climb across the seat and up onto his lap. He pulled back just an inch, sharing Jared’s breath. “I should drive.”

Jared nodded slowly, thumbs sweeping over Jensen’s freckled cheeks.

“Which way are we going?” His heart had finally slowed and he felt like he could breathe without it hurting.

“Pick a direction,” Jensen murmured, not yet turning away from Jared. “Anywhere you want to go, and we’ll go there.”

Without even bothering to look, Jared pointed forward. “That way. And, Jensen? Let’s not stop for a very long time.”

“Not until we have to.” Jensen kissed Jared one last time before turning forward, shifting the car into drive once more. “I kind of can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

Scooting across the seat to be closer, Jared smiled. “Then get driving.”


End file.
